The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear (Step)Moms: What do you think of all the theme parks leaving California? How…
![This proves that SeaWorld is now in Texas. Photo by Tristanb [CC BY-SA-3.0] via Wikimedia.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/seaworld-san-diego-in-texas-768x403.jpg)
Shamu is in Texas! Who knew? SAN ANTONIO, TX — Uncle Walt’s Insider has some breaking news that you will ONLY find here! Sometime during the Covid-19 shutdown, SeaWorld San Diego packed up and moved the entire operation to San Antonio, TX! The park is the latest to flee California for more normal states, after…
![What exactly are the mask's ear loops holding on to? Photo by Kjaergaard [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/shamu-wearing-proper-face-protection-768x432.jpg)
What exactly are Shamu’s mask’s ear loops holding on to? ORLANDO, FL — Looks like SeaWorld’s animals will get to swim around some more. Our taste buds’ loss is their gain. Interim SeaWorld CEO Marc Swanson (of Swanson TV dinners fame) presented their plans to the May 27th Orange County Economic Recovery Task Force (M27OCERTF,…
Apparently some misguided people seem to think visiting SeaWorld is like going to Disney? SAN ANTONIO, TX — Numerous online articles [Ed.: Meh, instead of linking, let them Google it for themselves!] claim visiting SeaWorld is just like visiting Disney, but SeaWorld is NOT even close to being like Disney! Our very own Uncle Walt…
![All hail Princess Billy. Now take him to the river. Photo by Cleveland Brown 1 [CC BY-SA 4.0] via Wikimedia Commons.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/disneys-newest-princess-768x432.jpg)
The Disney Empire annexes another entertainment giant. COPPELL, TX — He’s been hanging on walls and singing for 20 years. He’s probably the most well-known fish in the world after Jaws, Nemo, and Abe Vigoda. He’s Big Mouth Billy Bass. And now he’s a part of Disney’s world, as the entertainment giant has announced the buyout…