![The anal probing was happening just off-camera. Thankfully. Photo by Sergey Galyonkin [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/star-wars-batuu-galaxys-edge-disneyland-768x403.jpg)
Can Covid actually infect all of those different Star Wars species? BLACK SPIRE OUTPOST (CA, NOT FL) — As many on Planet Earth attempt to return to some sort of normal, another planet is going back into lockdown. The Governor of Black Spire Outpost has announced that due to the Covid-19 Delta Variant, Batuu would…
![What fireworks looked like before they were forced to wear masks. Photo by Candace Lindemann [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/disney-fireworks-without-masks-768x403.jpg)
So apparently when you wrap a fireworks shell in a mask, it doesn’t work the same? Huh. MAGIC KINGDOM, FL — As billions of guests once again pass through Disney parks turnstiles each day around the globe, one thing has been missing: fireworks. It’s been over a year since Disney put on a fireworks show. Or…
![Someone got a little carried away with the "no mask" celebration! Photo by Carlos [CC BY-NC 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/mickey-mouse-without-a-mask-768x403.jpg)
Warning to anyone who believes the theme park characters are real and not humans in a costume: don’t read this article. Or this warning. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — Disney Cast Member Fabiana Cooper, whose name is being withheld for employee discipline reasons, caused a stir yesterday at the Magic Kingdom. Disney (the company) spokesperson…
![A familiar-looking ship blocks the Rivers of America. Photo by "Chuck, aka SolGrundy on Flickr" [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia Commons.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/churro-delivery-blocks-rivers-of-america-768x403.jpg)
Where have we seen that ship before? ANAHEIM, CA — Uncle Walt’s Insider has learned that an accident at Disneyland, before the park re-opened, nearly pushed back the re-opening date. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) explained what happened. “We knew Disneyland re-opening was going to be the biggest thing to happen to…
![Hard to believe we used to breathe air that hadn't been sucked through a dirty rag! Photo by JeffChristiansen [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/disney-magic-kingdom-before-the-face-diapers-768x403.jpg)
Giant mice and dogs used to be the main fear. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — Cast Members at the Walt Disney World Resort, Spa, and Sanitorium are sharing a new phenomenon with Uncle Walt’s Insider: fear of seeing uncovered human faces. “We used to only have to deal with small kids being afraid of the…