Uncle Walt's Insider characters Archives - Page 3 of 18

Now that he can't tweet, think of what he'll do with all this new time on his hands! Image © Disney.

Twitter permanently bans @RealDonaldDuck

First they came for the ducks, but I did not speak out because I was not a duck... SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- Complete Unbiased® social media giant Twitter is permanently banning the @RealDonaldDuck account from ever tweeting again. Head Twit Jack Dorsey announced the move today. "We try to understand The Donald's tweets, but they are just uncomprehensible most of the time. So given his anger issues and his blatant Nazi past, we figured he must be inciting violence." Uncle Walt's Insider will keep ...

Disney to purchase VeggieTales

Okay, now they own everything. BURBANK, CA -- The Disney Company is in final talks with VeggieTales owner Universal to bring Bob the Tomato, Larry the Cucumber, and all of their vegetable friends under the Disney banner. Sources inside both companies say that they expect a deal to be closed soon. One of the final hurdles to reaching agreement is VeggieTales demand that Disney disassociate itself from dancer and actress Julianne Hough. "Vegetables just have a problem with anything that sounds like 'julienne,'" ...

October 24, 2020 by Marty in Other

Former Disney characters, now kindling. Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.

Disney sells unpopular characters to raise funds

We're really going to miss B.O.B. BURBANK, CA -- A short paragraph hidden away in the Walt Disney Company Q3 2020 Earnings Report reveals that the company sold off the rights to unpopular characters to raise money to keep the company from folding. The list of characters is quite large, but notable characters are the 6th and 8th mop from Fantasia's The Sorcerer's Apprentice segment [Ed.: The performance by mop number 8 was abysmal], B.O.B. from The Black Hole, Condorman, Osh Popham from ...

August 12, 2020 by Walt in Other

Poster for "Hamilton Live! Featuring the Muppets." Image © 2020 Disney (perhaps modified. A bit).

Hall of Presidents to be replaced with “Hamilton Live! Featuring the Muppets”!

It combines two things everyone loves: Lin-Manuel Miranda, and Miss Piggy as Angelica (and maybe Eliza, too). BAY LAKE, FL -- The Walt Disney Company has announced yet another major change coming to the Magic Kingdom, this time in Liberty Square. The venerable Hall of Presidents is scheduled to be replaced with a puppet show about a Secretary of the Treasury. That's right. The Hall of Presidents is being replaced by Hamilton, as portrayed by the Muppets. Something about Corporate Synergy Josh D'Amaro, Chairman ...

July 8, 2020 by X in Florida

Meet Mickey's new voice! Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr, & Pxhere.

BREAKING: Disney animal characters will only be voiced by actual animals

It's only right. BURBANK, CA -- As you may have read, Disney property The Simpsons will now have characters voiced only by actors of the same race as their fictional counterparts. Apart from the company scrambling to find yellow actors, they now say that they are extending the policy to non-human characters. Yes, from now on, Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and other beloved Disney characters will only be voiced by animals. Sources say the company is struggling to find a man-dog hybrid to ...

June 30, 2020 by Marty in Other