First they came for the ducks, but I did not speak out because I was not a duck… SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Complete Unbiased® social media giant Twitter is permanently banning the @RealDonaldDuck account from ever tweeting again. Head Twit Jack Dorsey announced the move today. “We try to understand The Donald’s tweets, but they…
![Mickey likes to talks to tomatoes. No word if a squash can make him smile. Photo by Josh Hallett [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/disney-buys-veggietales--768x403.jpg)
Okay, now they own everything. BURBANK, CA — The Disney Company is in final talks with VeggieTales owner Universal to bring Bob the Tomato, Larry the Cucumber, and all of their vegetable friends under the Disney banner. Sources inside both companies say that they expect a deal to be closed soon. One of the final…
![Former Disney characters, now kindling. Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/disney-sells-brooms-other-characters-768x403.jpg)
We’re really going to miss B.O.B. BURBANK, CA — A short paragraph hidden away in the Walt Disney Company Q3 2020 Earnings Report reveals that the company sold off the rights to unpopular characters to raise money to keep the company from folding. The list of characters is quite large, but notable characters are the…
It combines two things everyone loves: Lin-Manuel Miranda, and Miss Piggy as Angelica (and maybe Eliza, too). BAY LAKE, FL — The Walt Disney Company has announced yet another major change coming to the Magic Kingdom, this time in Liberty Square. The venerable Hall of Presidents is scheduled to be replaced with a puppet show…
![Meet Mickey's new voice! Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr, & Pxhere.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/mickey-mouse-new-voice-actor-768x403.jpg)
It’s only right. BURBANK, CA — As you may have read, Disney property The Simpsons will now have characters voiced only by actors of the same race as their fictional counterparts. Apart from the company scrambling to find yellow actors, they now say that they are extending the policy to non-human characters. Yes, from now…