The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
“Dear (Step)Moms: My family and I are planning on taking our first trip to Disney World next July. Everyone tells me that Disney World is expensive. How can I save money on my upcoming trip?” -Carina Paget, Bethany IA
Thanks for writing in, Carina. I’ve heard the same complaints a least a million times. But how can you put a price on ensuring your kids won’t need therapy because you decided that everyone could split a churro instead of buying each their own? Imagine the pain your son will feel when you give a slightly larger piece of the shared churro to your daughter (look, everyone knows you favor her, stop pretending). Yes, Walt Disney World is expensive. But so is that therapy. Spend the money, have fun, make memories. And quit trying to cheap out and just buy everyone their own churro. These parks don’t design and build themselves you know!
It’s very easy. A churro costs $5.50, a cream cheese pretzel is $6.50. Not only will you save money, you’ll get a better snack at the same time.
Hi, Carina! How exciting for you and your family! Walt Disney World can be expensive, yes, but there are easy ways to save money. For instance, do you like some of your kids more than others? If so, you can pick which kids you like best and leave the others at home. No need to buy park admission or food for them! If you insist on bringing all of your kids, one trick I’ve learned is to have one parent enter the park, then stand just inside the turnstiles. Then the other parent can lob the unticketed child over the gate!
We generally find that the cheerleaders and Brazilian tour groups aren’t a problem. However, if it’s a Brazilian wax you’re looking for, look no further than Allure Nails & Wax in Kansas City, where it’s only sometimes that they’ll slice your toe mid-pedicure.
Just don’t go to Walt Disney World. There are already enough people there without you.
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