The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
“Dear (Step) Moms: This really isn’t a planning question, but… I get that you’re just ripping off the Disney Parks Moms Panel, and the disclaimer says you ‘may or may not’ be stepmoms. Are any of you actually stepmoms? Why should we trust your advice?” – Red Patterson, Lubbock TX
Hi Red, thanks for asking. It’s 2019, we can identify as anything. Plus, we offer THE best advice anywhere. You can trust us, it’s right there on our website.
Dear (name), how exciting for you!
Planning a trip to a Disney park is always so much fun, and you’re going to love going to (destination). It’s really (adjective) around (time of year)!
If I had to get specific, though, of the options you gave, I would suggest (flip a coin) because of how (special, magical, full of pixie dust, whatever) it is! Thanks for writing, and have a great time at (place)!
Also, Red — Just who do you think you are to question us??? Do you have THE best website for news, travel tips, and churro recipes? There is no Uncle Red’s Insider!” (Boys, let’s trademark that so he can’t steal it. Then erase this comment.) [Ed.: He is pretty obnoxious for a guy named for a primary color.]
Just don’t go to Walt Disney World. There are already enough people there without you.
It doesn’t matter whether we’re actually stepmom’s or not. Read our advice, then read theirs. I guarantee, ours is more entertaining. And Disney is all about entertainment. [Ed.: You forgot to include “factual,” … oh, wait, never mind, I get it.]
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