The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
“Dear (Step) Moms: What’s up with all the Epcot articles lately?” – Pedro P., New York, NY
Baby Yoda insisted we talk about something else.
Just don’t go to Batuu. There are already enough people there without you.
Hi Carl, thanks for asking.
It is no secret that the opening of Shanghai Disneyland has been long anticipated by those who live in that region of China. The high cost of travel within mainland China is hard enough for the commoners to handle, let alone what it costs to travel to Hong Kong. The last minute addition of the New Jersey Pavilion at Shanghai Disneyland is also a huge driving force for the people of China, who have an insatiable desire to consume their weight in riblets! In fact, only the Churro ranks higher, but the Churro is sacred, and consuming them in mass quantities is seen as offensive, except on Churro day, which is actually every day.
It’s quite complicated, let me have Baby Yoda explain it to you. He can use the force thingy he does on Marty all of the time. It’s hilarious, one time Marty ate a broom handle thinking it was a churro. Wait, that was before Baby Yoda came on staff.
In any case, Steve, you’re going to have a magical cruise aboard the Disney Wonder! Enjoy!
Joke’s on you. I knew it was a broom handle the whole time!
We’re just so happy that the tombstones are gone, we want to shout it from the rooftops. But I lost my voice, and can’t shout, so we are just running a lot of articles about it instead.
Wait, we’re talking about Epcot? They ruined that vision before they broke ground.
Hey Walt, can I tell everyone yet that Epcot and Animal Kingdom are going to be relocating and merging yet?
Sure. Just don’t tell anyone about the upcoming Lilo & Stitch reboot where Rocket Raccoon takes the place of Stitch.
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