The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
“Is it weird to go to Disney world as a single, childless adult?” – Zach Harris, Hartwick NY
X:
It depends on your intentions, but in general, I’d say it’s not weird. Everyone has their happy place, and maybe Disney is yours. Why should you need a child for that? (If you’d like to borrow one, there is a new child rental service available). Just be careful. If you start asking people if they like movies about gladiators or have been in a Turkish prison, that could get weird.
And remember, if you do want a child, don’t work on creating it in the parks. It’s a family park, not a place to make a family.
Walt:
Hi Zach, thanks for asking. As the story goes, I… er uh, Walt sat, alone, on a park bench watching my, I mean his, daughters ride the merry-go-round at Griffith Park. As I… err uh, Walt enjoyed a bag of peanuts, alone, I felt there should be something built, some sort of family park where parents and children could have fun together. It was at this time, again alone, (as legend goes) that I — dang it! — I mean, Walt dreamed up the idea of Disneyland. Why? So I would never be alone again.
Zach, why do you want to be alone? They will sell you more than one Churro at a time, so there is no need for sharing. But, truth be told, Zach, I often find myself alone, wandering through the various lands deep in thought. Should there be more Churro Carts? Of course! Did that family you see there seem happy, or is there room for Churros in their life?
And the one question that always comes to mind, isn’t it weird that a single, childless adult is here? I’m not talking about myself, of course, I have my own Lilly Belle at my side. My two girls, and of course the boys, Ub, X, even Marty, will join me at the parks. I’m there alone doing my job. See, Zach, it’s my job that brings me to the parks alone. What brings you to the parks alone, Zach? Whatever it may be, I do hope you keep coming back to Uncle Walt’s Insider. Oh, and the parks. Keep spending your money at the parks, Zach. And remember, it’s only weird if you make it weird, Zach.
Marty:
Dear Zach, I am going to have to disagree with my co-conspirators coworkers here. The answer to your question is simple: YES. Yes, it is incredibly weird to go to Walt Disney World as a single, childless adult. But don’t let that stop you!
Fortunately, Disney is very, VERY welcoming of weird people. I mean, the next time you’re there, take a look around at the other guests. Weirdos, all of them. Even the ‘normal’ families with kids are pretty odd. So go, be weird, and enjoy yourself.
(Just as an aside, would any of the ‘Moms’ on the DPMP be this honest?)
Harriet:
Just don’t go to Walt Disney World. There are already enough people there without you.
Ub:
Hi, Zach. As someone who’s done it many, many, many times… [Ed.: “Done it,” really, Ub? Oh, you mean go to the parks alone] I think you know the answer to that question.
When visiting Pokhara Disneyland Funpark, it’s important to check the rides yourself to make sure you’re safe. The best way to do this is by sending your kids first. If they survive, then it’s safe. If they don’t, we suggest you leave.
Another thing about Disneyland Funpark: please note that if someone offers you tea, they’re not actually offering what you as an American might expect. Where our tea is made by steeping leaves or other herbs in hot water, theirs is made by pouring hot water over toasted barley powder, milk curds, and yak butter. We hear it’s tasty, but I’ve never been to Tibet. Please let us know!
Do you have a question for the Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel? Click here to submit a questions.
Need more Uncle Walt’s in your life? Be sure to LIKE us on Facebook, FOLLOW us on Twitter, and tell everyone you know (plus a few strangers) how wonderful (and humble) we are!
