(Step)Moms Panel (now step-planDisney!): What's up with Scarlett Johansson's Black Widow lawsuit? - Uncle Walt's Insider

(Step)Moms Panel (now step-planDisney!): What’s up with Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow lawsuit?

UWI step-planDisney

The Uncle Walt’s Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]

Hey, guess what? The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step)Moms Panel is now “step-planDisney”! And this isn’t reactive in any way — we were planning this change long before the Disney Mom’s Panel became planDisney. But we’re the same (Step)Moms, so we’ll continue to give theme park advice that is as true and reliable as that last sentence!

“Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: Scarlett Johansson is suing Disney for releasing Black Widow on Disney+, cutting into her share of box office receipts. What do you think of her lawsuit? And do you have any other ideas about things we can sue Disney for?” – Kane Matsuoka, Portmarnock, Ireland

Walt:

Hi Karl, thanks for asking. I’m not familiar with Sue, so I’m not sure exactly what she does for Disney.

I can tell you that one time I encountered a Black Widow spider, and while initially alarmed, I realized that I was much larger than the spider, and my size 12 shoe quickly dispatched it, solidifying my dominance in the animal kingdom.

In conclusion, anytime Disney tries to “Plus”, that is enhance a product, attraction, show, etc., you can be assured that it comes with maximum amount of profits in mind. Enjoy your vacation, try the veal, and remember to tip your waitress.

Marty:

Hey, Matt, thank you for writing!

Let me echo what Walt said about the relative size of Black Widow spiders. Of course, he completely misunderstood the context (as usual) but the principle holds true. No one celebrity, even Miss Scarlett (in the Conservatory with a Pipe Wrench) can stand up to the gargantuan power of Disney. They’re so big they can pretty much do whatever they want.

So let me just say that I, for one, welcome our Mouse overlords and look forward to putting in many productive hours in the cheese mills.

X:

Hi Jane,

I haven’t had a chance to see the movie yet, please give me a spoiler warning first!

Legally, I think Disney wins this one easily. Johansen’s contact probably specifies that she gets a cut of the theatrical release profits. As long as there is a theatrical release (and there is), there’s nothing that says Disney has to give the movie an exclusive theatrical release. If they want to cut into their own profits by simultaneously releasing on Disney+, that’s their own issue.

I think. I’m not a lawyer, and I haven’t read the contracts in question.

Marty:

Do we have a lawyer on Uncle Walt’s Insider staff?

Grogu:

Walt:

Exactly, Grogu. Of course this leaves the unanswered question that Natalie Portman submitted from her home in the hills of south Florida: Is it acceptable to dip your churro into some sort of sauce? I prefer marinara myself.

Harriet:

Just don’t sue Disney. They have enough lawsuits against them already without you.

Ub:

[is off somewhere drafting another lawsuit against Disney.]

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