The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
“Dear (Step) Moms: What are your favorite plant-based meal options found at the Disney Parks?” – Jordan W., Berkeley CA
Baby Yoda:
Marty:
No, bone broth is not plant-based. Because, you know, bones.
Walt:
Hi Alfred, thanks for asking.
I find that there are quite a few options all around the parks. You can make quite a nice salad from the various leaves of trees and plants, and thanks to Disney’s use of fresh herbs all over, you can even pick them to add some flavor to your salad. My favorite is the rosemary.
If you take the Behind the Seeds tour at Epcot, you can actually some find normal veggies from there. Just grab them quick while the tour guides aren’t looking! Then use items from the condiment bars to make a dressing of your choosing. Happy eating!
Ub:
Hello, Geordi. Thanks for writing to the (Step) Moms Panel. Every day is a beautiful day to visit Disney parks, and a great day for eating in the parks.
Being what some have called a carnivore, I prefer meal plans that have nothing to do with plants. If you haven’t tried mouse, it’s a delicacy, and quite enjoyable to eat. Further, live octopus and blowfish sashimi top the charts for me when it comes to the best in-park eating.
Ub (still going):
The key is to pack it so that you can get it past security at the front of the parks, or in California at the parking garage. I’ve found that by packing some cannabis brownies at the top of my cooler, they don’t even notice the live food below. It never gets to that point.
Hope that helps!
Harriet:
Just don’t go to Shanghai Disneyland. There are already <cough> enough people there without you.
Baby Yoda:
Walt:
No, frogs aren’t either.
Ub:
Ooh, I forgot frogs! I agree with The Child on this one.
Marty:
I thought Baby Yoda was supposed to be an expert on stuff. Why did we bring him on the panel again? Especially since Walt put off our cost of living increases to subsidize his ‘signing bonus’?
Ub:
You get a cost of living increase? Wait. That means you get paid.
Marty:
I’ve said too much.
Ub:
Now you just wait one second.
X:
Churros, of course. Flour, water, sugar, and cinnamon. Although I guess the water isn’t plant based.
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