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Magical Fake News

  • Non-socially distanced villains at Walt Disney World. Photo by Leigh Caldwell [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.
    Non-socially distanced villains at Walt Disney World. Photo by Leigh Caldwell [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.
    Florida

    Confirmed: Disney villains will not wear masks

    ByMarty June 9, 2020June 8, 2020

    Why? Because they’re “eeeevil.” WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — When Walt Disney World fully reopens in July of 2025, a number of virus-prevention requirements will be in place. But not for everyone. Disney villains will not be required to wear masks, or practice social distancing. Realism “Our goal, as always, is realistic storytelling,” explains Disney…

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  • UWI (Step)Moms Panel
    UWI (Step)Moms Panel
    step-planDisney

    (Step)Moms Panel: “Why are you always SO rude over here?”

    ByMarty June 8, 2020June 5, 2020

    The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear (Step)Moms: Why are you always SO rude over here?” – Melissa M, St….

    Read More (Step)Moms Panel: “Why are you always SO rude over here?”Continue

  • Uncle Walt’s Insider Week in Review for June 7
    Spotlight

    Uncle Walt’s Insider Week in Review for June 7

    ByMarty June 7, 2020June 5, 2020

    Here’s what you missed while doing something much less important!  Appearing this past week on Uncle Walt’s Insider: Monday (STEP) MOMS PANEL: WDW WITHOUT FASTPASSES OR DINING RESERVATIONS? – No Fastpass+ or dining reservations at Walt Disney World this year? How will it work? Tuesday DISNEY MAGIC TO BE SUNK, TURNED INTO ARTIFICIAL REEF –…

    Read More Uncle Walt’s Insider Week in Review for June 7Continue

  • Goofy, shortly after being appointed CEO. We're assuming Toon Town is in shambles now. Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.
    Goofy, shortly after being appointed CEO. We're assuming Toon Town is in shambles now. Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.
    Other | World

    Mickey’s retirement lasts less than one day

    ByMarty June 6, 2020June 5, 2020

    Goofy wasn’t fit to be Disney CEO. His name isn’t Bob. BURBANK, CA — Mickey Mouse is back. After announcing his retirement yesterday, the Mouse “pulled an Iger” and announced his unretirement today. No formal reason was given. A source tells Uncle Walt’s Insider, however, that Goofy was a “disaster.” Anonymous sources  Minnie Our source,…

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  • Mickey Mouse. Not Marty. Image by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.
    Mickey Mouse. Not Marty. Image by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.
    Other | World

    BREAKING: MICKEY MOUSE ANNOUNCES RETIREMENT

    ByMarty June 5, 2020June 2, 2020

    He’ll still make appearances, but he’s turning over the running of the company to Goofy. BURBANK, CA — In a stunning move, Disney icon Mickey Mouse is retiring as the “big boss” of the Disney empire. The company announced today that Mickey, who is well into his 90’s, is “stepping away” to spend more time…

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