Money-saving tips for your Disney vacation - Uncle Walt's Insider

Money-saving tips for your Disney vacation

More fees for Walt Di$ney World? Photo via Pixabay, modified.

Let the experts at Uncle Walt’s Insider help you to keep more cash in your wallet.

UNCLE WALT’S INSIDER H.Q. — So you want to go to Disney, but don’t have a lot of money to burn? Or for that matter, to spend? You’ve come to the right place! We here at Uncle Walt’s Insider are full of great ideas to help you save some cash and have a great vacation as well. [Ed.: We’re full of something, that’s for sure.]

So, without further ado, here are some choice bits of advice for the cheapo in all of us:

1. Panhandling

The best way to save your money is to spend someone else’s money, right? The problem is how to get hold of other people’s money legally, without having to stoop so low as to go into politics. Panhandling is the way to go! And best of all, you likely have your kids with you anyway at the Disney park, and who can resist giving to a sweet little child whose down-on-their-luck parents don’t have enough to get them into the gates?

2. Sell your blood, organs, etc.

Medical folks, at least the good ones, don’t always rely on kidnapping unsuspecting tourists, harvesting their organs, and leaving them to wake up in a bathtub full of ice — as it turns out, that’s not even a procedure approved by the FDA or the American Medical Association! So you can get good money by selling off whatever parts of you you aren’t using any more, like blood. Just make sure there’s enough of you left to enjoy your vacation!

3. Don’t spend so much

This is the best tip of all, particularly if you aren’t really into doing things that are illegal, ethically questionable, or physically disfiguring to get your money. Did you know you can save money by, uh, saving money? The less you spend, the more you have! It sounds crazy, but it’s true. Give it a try! We’re planning to someday!

And there you have it, three tips to save money on your Disney vacation! [Ed.: We never said they were good tips.] Join us next week for our top advice about saving money on medical procedures!

Have you ever saved money? Us neither.

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Photo via Pixabay, modified.