DNA test shows Goofy up to 1/64 human

Now maybe President Trump will stop tweeting about him.

BURBANK, CA — In a statement released today, the Walt Disney Company and Spa settled questions that have “dogged” one of its more popular characters since his debut: Is Goofy a dog or a man? If he’s a man, why does he have so many dog-like features? If he’s a dog, how is it that he can walk and talk but Pluto can’t?

Historical accuracy

After recent news stories demonstrated the unqualified success of his DNA analysis in quelling controversy, Disney turned to Professor Carlos Bustamante of Stanford University for insight into Goofy’s DNA.

After comparing the sample to DNA from chimpanzees, sloths, and Goliath beetles (because of their similarity to human DNA), Bustamante reported that Goofy, while mostly dog, “may have had a human ancestor six to ten generations ago.” This would make Goofy anywhere from 1/64 to 1/1024 human, explaining his “high cheekbones” and other human attributes.

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Cover photo of the part man, part dog, and also part Cherokee, character by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.