The Hall of Presidents is so popular, Disney is putting U.S. Presidents all through the parks!
WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — Walt Disney World officials announced today that there would soon be “more Presidential Presence” in Disney’s Florida theme parks. Several new Presidents are expected to make their appearance soon throughout the parks.
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In a press conference held today in the convention center at Disney’s Contemporary Resort and Richard Nixon-Is-Not-a-Crook Spa, Disney (the company) announced the new additions. Spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) stood in front of a very elegant podium and delivered the following announcement:
“My fellow Americans, we have gathered here today, around the podium, as people of all lands have gathered for thousands and thousands of years before. To read a press release. An amazing press release, as old as time itself, but still being written.
“Our Imagineers have long realized that the Hall of Presidents is one of the top rated and most visited attractions here at the Walt Disney World Resort and Spa and Pool Hall. With so many people flocking to see real, authentic reenactments of U.S. History, we wanted to add more Presidents to the parks. So, in time for President’s Day, we will be adding Presidents to various attractions.”
Ruffles and Flourishes“The list is still being worked on,” Disney (no relation) continued, “but so far, we can make the following proclamations: Firstly, we will be adding President Gerald Ford to Splash Mountain. It’ll actually be a pretty minor change. In honor of President Ford’s alma mater, the University of Michigan, the ‘FSU Gopher‘ will be reprogrammed to say “Let’s Go Blue!” instead.
“Also, we’re going to put several presidents inside Spaceship Earth. At least Presidents Eisenhower, John Adams, Jackson, and Taft will make an appearance in that ride, maybe more.
“We’re also talking about adding a reference to President Johnson in the PeopleMover. We’re thinking it won’t be an animatronic, but maybe a voiceover saying something about a flight to the moon.
“We are very excited to add these Presidential tributes, and will continue looking for other ways to add even more Presidents. Perhaps we’ll even conduct voting to see who else should be added. That’s all the time we have today. Thank you, and may G-d bless the United States of America.”
What do you think? Which Presidents would you vote to let into the parks? Should some be removed? Let us know in the comments below!
Cover photo: John Adams joins Spaceship Earth. Photo by Cory Doctorow [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr; Adams animatronic by Gallery of Historic Figures.