Marty’s back from California! Here’s what he found at Disneyland last week.
UNCLE WALT’S H.Q., SVALBARD — Our own writer and ink & paint specialist Marty is back from his trip to Disneyland! [Marty: It feels weird to be referring to myself in the third person. Won’t people notice that I’m the author of this article?] [Ed.: Just do it. None of the other regulars want to interview you, and we’re not hiring someone else to handle it — especially after you blew all the petty cash on your trip.] Here’s what I he found:
How long were you in the parks?
I spent a total of 56 hours inside Disneyland and California Adventure combined. Of course, that was just on Wednesday, Thursday, and a little on Friday morning; the parks weren’t open for most of that time.
Wait, you were in the parks when they weren’t open?
Sure. Uncle Walt doesn’t like to pay for hotel rooms for our business trips. He calls them a “luxury.” So we have to sleep where we can. Fortunately, Disneyland security isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, and those teacups can be pretty comfy if you curl up the right way.
What was your favorite attraction?
Definitely the ducks (pictured). I’m always impressed by Disney’s use of technology, and the duck audio-animatronics were almost flawless. I could hardly tell them apart from the real thing!
Did you meet any Uncle Walt’s Insider fans while you were there?
I bumped into hundreds of fans while I was there!
I’m assuming they were fans, at least. I did bump into hundreds of people — the parks got kind of crowded as the days went on. And something about how they said “Look out!” or “Hey, watch where you’re going!” let me know they were readers of our website.
Did you like the Christmas decorations?
??? Oh. Oh, okay. That’s why they had all that greenery and lights up everywhere. Completely missed that.
What “Insider” tips can you give for any of our readers who may be planning a Disneyland trip?
The parks are amazing, but way, way more complicated than any amateur traveler can tackle on their own. You need an experienced guide, so my tip is this: take me with you. You can reach me through the “Contact Us” page. And ignore it if anyone but Marty responds.
You told Walt that you were going to Disneyland for “churro research.” What did your research reveal?
Inconclusive. More data is needed. I’ll need to go back, probably just as soon as we replenish the petty cash. [Walt: No.]
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Cover photo: Marty swears this was taken at Disneyland. He’s not great with selfies. Photo by Marty, used without permission.