Lessons learned: 8 things I'll never do again at Disneyland - Uncle Walt's Insider

Lessons learned: 8 things I’ll never do again at Disneyland

A random building at Disneyland. Photo by Carterhawk [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia Commons.

Guest author Jay Donnchad of Reno, Nevada, shares his experience.

Hi, I’m Jay, and I’ve been going to Disneyland for several decades. Over time I’ve learned a few lessons on things you should and shouldn’t do there — or really, at any Disney park. Hopefully this info will help you have a happier time when you go. So here are my:

Top eight things I’ll never do again at Disneyland:

1. Not eat a churro.

Yeah, I know, “I’ll never not eat a churro” is an awkward way to say “Always eat a churro, or many churros,” but when these Uncle Walt’s guys get an idea in their head, it’s hard to talk them out of it. I wanted the article to be called “Ten things to make your Disney trip better,” but they thought the negative tone of their “never” headline would draw more clicks. Who knows? I’m not an internet guy. I just thought it would be better if it was a list of my ideas, in my voice, but no, they have to mess things up and do things their way. Jerks. [Ed.: Cut this paragraph before publishing.]

So anyway. Churros. They’re good. Eat them.

2. Rocket Rods

This was one of my favorite rides at one time, but I can no longer recommend it. For one thing, it’s always breaking down. For another thing, the wait times can be incredibly long even when it’s running. Also, it isn’t there any more.

3. Swim to Tom Sawyer Island

It was an honest mistake. I was hot, and nobody told me they had rafts that take people across. Anyway, the water’s pretty nasty.

4. Ram the car in front of me on Autopia

I didn’t see the sign, or hear the announcement, okay? Besides, the kid was going really slow, and his mom was letting him. It was like he’d never driven a car before! I’m sure he’ll be okay.

5. Swim in the Jungle Cruise ride

Okay, with this one I knew there were boats, but I was still hot. But if you can believe it, the water is even nastier on this ride. Lesson learned.

6. Hug the princesses

This one’s mainly due to the restraining order.

7. Not stick to my budget

When traveling to Disneyland, unless you’re incredibly wealthy, it’s important to have a budget and stick to it. I can’t say I entirely regret maxing out my Mastercard at the churro cart, but I’ll definitely have to show restraint from now on. Still paying that one off six years later.

8. Swim in the Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage lagoon

Or it’s a small world. Or the castle moat. Or the Matterhorn splash pools. Or Pirates of the Caribbean. I get hot a lot.

What’s your favorite place to swim at Disneyland? Let us know in the comments below!

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Cover photo of a random building at Disneyland by Carterhawk [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia Commons.