Diary excerpt: A day in the life of a small world doll | Uncle Walt's Insider

Diary excerpt: A day in the life of a small world doll

Steve and friends. Photo by Deror_avi [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia Commons.

Soon to be a “Black Mirror” episode.

ANAHEIM, CA — Recently Uncle Walt’s Insider received an anonymous email, routed through multiple untraceable servers, with an encoded attachment. We were only able to unscramble it with the keyword “churro,” which confirms that it was intended for us.

The attachment appears to be from the diary of a doll in the Disneyland Park it’s a small world ride, spanning just over a day. Here now are excerpts from that diary. <WARNING> Some of the content may be disturbing, not least the idea that each and every one of those dolls is a sentient being with feelings.

Wednesday morning

6:00 a.m. The lights are on. Hey, I’m a doll in it’s a small world! How cool!

6:10 a.m. Just taking in the surroundings. Such a colorful, happy place.

7:10 a.m. Boats are moving through the canal in front of me. They’re all empty for now. Just testing, I guess. Can’t wait for the people to show up! But I know what’s coming before that…

7:34 a.m. The song! Yes! They’ve started the audio track! Time to sing!

it’s a small world after all
it’s a small world after all
it’s a small world after all
it’s a small, small world

8:02 a.m. The first guests appear in the boat! I sing and sing and sing and sing as the guests float by. What a great job!

9:30 a.m. An hour-and-a-half in and still going strong…

it’s a world of laughter, a world of tears…

10:05 a.m. Funny thing I’ve noticed. Only some of the guests are smiling, usually just the little ones. Gotta cheer up those grown-ups. I’ll try singing louder!

There’s so much that we share
That it’s time we’re aware
it’s a small world after all…

Hmm. Not really working.

Wednesday afternoon

12:13 p.m. Just got hit with a strong sense of déja vu. I’ve heard this song before, I know I have. Maybe it’s just because I’ve been singing it so much already.

2:35 p.m. Still singing my guts out. But something’s not right. I shouldn’t be hating this song after just a half day on the job, right?

4:40 p.m. No breaks. No stopping. Singing singing singing singing singing singing.

5:55 p.m. WHOA. Just had a weird flash, an image of the world outside this. I shouldn’t know there’s a world outside this if I’m just a small world doll, right? Do all the dolls get this? Or did I have a former life?

8:09 p.m. People, people, people. One packed boat after another. It’s your fault I’m here. Must break free… kill… KILL…!

10:59 p.m. Okay, can’t break free. Can’t stop singing. Can’t stop the guests from coming. No escape. This is hell, isn’t it? Pretty sure this is hell.

11:10 p.m. Finally, the last guests have gone by. Should be shutting off the song and lights soon, thank God.

11:12 p.m. No! Nononono. This can’t be. My memory’s just come flooding back. I’m not meant to be here! My name is Steve. I am a food service Cast Member! Well, was – I was termed for missing start of shift too many times. OH! The last thing I remember is signing the termination papers. Then everything went black and I woke up here. If anyone ever sees this, please help! Rescue me! I don’t want to be

[Note: the previous entry ends there.]

Thursday morning

6:00 a.m. The lights are on. Hey, I’m a doll in it’s a small world! How cool!

Admit it, you always suspected this, right? Let us know in the comments below!

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Cover photo of Steve and friends by Deror_avi [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia Commons.