Walt, Author at Uncle Walt's Insider - Page 9 of 46
The anal probing was happening just off-camera. Thankfully. Photo by Sergey Galyonkin [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

Batuu, Black Spire Outpost to restart planetary lockdown

Can Covid actually infect all of those different Star Wars species? BLACK SPIRE OUTPOST (CA, NOT FL) -- As many on Planet Earth attempt to return to some sort of normal, another planet is going back into lockdown. The Governor of Black Spire Outpost has announced that due to the Covid-19 Delta Variant, Batuu would enter lockdown once again. While guests visiting the Disneyland Resort will still follow current CDC guidelines, those entering Black Spire Outpost must show a negative Covid test ...
July 16, 2021 by Walt in California, Florida
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What fireworks looked like before they were forced to wear masks. Photo by Candace Lindemann [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr.

Maskless fireworks returning to Walt Disney World

So apparently when you wrap a fireworks shell in a mask, it doesn't work the same? Huh. MAGIC KINGDOM, FL -- As billions of guests once again pass through Disney parks turnstiles each day around the globe, one thing has been missing: fireworks. It's been over a year since Disney put on a fireworks show. Or so we thought -- Disney (the company) insists that the fireworks never left! A muffled Fantasy in the Sky "The fireworks?" Disney (the company) spokeschickperson Disney (no relation) explains, "We've ...
June 28, 2021 by Walt in Florida
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A familiar-looking ship blocks the Rivers of America. Photo by "Chuck, aka SolGrundy on Flickr" [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia Commons.

Churro delivery blocks Rivers of America at Disneyland

Where have we seen that ship before? ANAHEIM, CA -- Uncle Walt's Insider has learned that an accident at Disneyland, before the park re-opened, nearly pushed back the re-opening date. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) explained what happened. "We knew Disneyland re-opening was going to be the biggest thing to happen to California since Disneyland opened in 1955," Disney told Uncle Walt's Insider. "So in preparation for that, we order extra Churros. A lot extra. A LOT extra. Hey, ...
June 10, 2021 by Walt in California
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The former Liberty Square. Can you spot the change? Photo by fortherock [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

Liberty Square to be renamed “Tianawomen Square”

Now we just have to work on that troublesome word "Liberty." WOKE DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Diversity continues to ooze into every pore of the Magic Kingdom! Disney (them/they) has just announced that Liberty Square will be renamed to Tianawomen Square. Disney (them) spokesze Jun Disney (not them) shared this with Uncle Walt's Insider: "In an effort to be more inclusive, we're changing Liberty Square to Tianawomen Square. It just seems to work, combining xyr most popular Princess Tiana and empowering other ...
June 7, 2021 by Walt in Uncategorized
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View from the front row of the slightly-scaled-down show. Photo by ellenm1 & Wally Gobetz [CC BY-NC 2.0] via Flickr. Inset photo by David162se [CC BY-SA 4.0] via Wikimedia. Cheerios by General Mills.

Festival of the Lion King returns. But not really.

We prefer it being part of the Safari queue. DISNEY'S ANIMAL KINGDOM, WDW, FL, USA, EARTH, MILKY WAY -- Park officials at Disney's Animal Kingdom Park, Resort, Spa & Butcher Shop claim that The Festival of the Lion King has returned. This news is, in fact, wrong. What has "returned" is a smaller show, with just 35% of the fun. The new show, called A Celebration of Festival of the Lion King, still features all of your favorite songs, but with a ...
May 14, 2021 by Walt in Florida
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