![The anal probing was happening just off-camera. Thankfully. Photo by Sergey Galyonkin [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/star-wars-batuu-galaxys-edge-disneyland-768x403.jpg)
Can Covid actually infect all of those different Star Wars species? BLACK SPIRE OUTPOST (CA, NOT FL) — As many on Planet Earth attempt to return to some sort of normal, another planet is going back into lockdown. The Governor of Black Spire Outpost has announced that due to the Covid-19 Delta Variant, Batuu would…
![What fireworks looked like before they were forced to wear masks. Photo by Candace Lindemann [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/disney-fireworks-without-masks-768x403.jpg)
So apparently when you wrap a fireworks shell in a mask, it doesn’t work the same? Huh. MAGIC KINGDOM, FL — As billions of guests once again pass through Disney parks turnstiles each day around the globe, one thing has been missing: fireworks. It’s been over a year since Disney put on a fireworks show. Or…
![A familiar-looking ship blocks the Rivers of America. Photo by "Chuck, aka SolGrundy on Flickr" [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia Commons.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/churro-delivery-blocks-rivers-of-america-768x403.jpg)
Where have we seen that ship before? ANAHEIM, CA — Uncle Walt’s Insider has learned that an accident at Disneyland, before the park re-opened, nearly pushed back the re-opening date. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) explained what happened. “We knew Disneyland re-opening was going to be the biggest thing to happen to…
![The former Liberty Square. Can you spot the change? Photo by fortherock [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/disney-tiana-women-square-768x403.jpg)
Now we just have to work on that troublesome word “Liberty.” WOKE DISNEY WORLD, FL — Diversity continues to ooze into every pore of the Magic Kingdom! Disney (them/they) has just announced that Liberty Square will be renamed to Tianawomen Square. Disney (them) spokesze Jun Disney (not them) shared this with Uncle Walt’s Insider: “In…
![View from the front row of the slightly-scaled-down show. Photo by ellenm1 & Wally Gobetz [CC BY-NC 2.0] via Flickr. Inset photo by David162se [CC BY-SA 4.0] via Wikimedia. Cheerios by General Mills.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/new-fotlk-now-on-video-768x403.jpg)
We prefer it being part of the Safari queue. DISNEY’S ANIMAL KINGDOM, WDW, FL, USA, EARTH, MILKY WAY — Park officials at Disney’s Animal Kingdom Park, Resort, Spa & Butcher Shop claim that The Festival of the Lion King has returned. This news is, in fact, wrong. What has “returned” is a smaller show, with…