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We’re at an elevated risk, since we go viral so rarely. UNCLE WALT’S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD — The entire staff of Uncle Walt’s Insider has been quarantined in our Svalbard headquarters after one of our articles went viral recently. As mentioned by completely non-political and unbiased website Snopes [Ed.: remember, we are satire.], a recent…
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Where will it end? SAN FRANCISCO, CA — It started with hundreds of thousands of residents leaving California. Then theme park Disneyland decided to leave, and was quickly followed by Knott’s Berry Farm, SeaWorld, and Disney California Adventure. Now the first non-park landmark has announced its departure: the famous Golden Gate Bridge. The Golden Gate…
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“Who would want a ‘California’ park in a non-California state?” ANAHEIM, CA — Once sister theme park Disneyland decided to leave California (quickly followed by Knott’s Berry Farm and SeaWorld), Disney’s California Adventure theme park was left in a quandary. “Sure, we’d like to leave,” Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) tells Uncle…
The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear (Step)Moms: What do you think of all the theme parks leaving California? How…
The moving vans are scheduled for Wednesday. ANAHEIM, CA — Saying they’ve “finally had enough” and the state is “just nuts,” Disneyland officials have announced that the park is leaving California. The park joins hundreds of thousands of California residents fleeing the state each year. Various reasons have been given for the mass exodus, but…