Our reporter is on the scene! But so far, no one else. DISNEYLAND, CA — Disneyland has reopened, but apparently no one cares. Your reporter has been on the scene in the Disneyland Plaza for a few hours, but apart from a handful of people meandering towards Downtown Disney, I’m it. I really expected happy,…
![A very obviously non-mask-wearing Trader Sam. Photo by Steven Miller [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/trader-sam-not-wearing-a-mask-768x403.jpg)
Next they’ll come for the non-mask wearing animals. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — When the Walt Disney World Resort and Spa re-opened last year, Disney required guests and Cast Members to wear masks 100% of the time while on WDW property. The mandate included mask-wearing while walking, running, standing, eating, drinking, sleeping, swimming, bathing, showering,…
Officials were inspired by the new Disneyland masks. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — The Walt Disney World Resort and Spa and Biological Warfare Factory has had its share of odd rules over the last year. To combat the pandemic, park officials have required guests to fully immerse themselves in hand sanitizer, prohibited wearing gators (presumably…
![You can save lots of $$ if you don't go here! Photo [CC0] via Wikimedia.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/Castillo_de_Disneyland-768x432.jpg)
Here’s all you need to know about the return to Walt’s original park! ANAHEIM, CA — Thanks to fake Biden’s executive order and impenetrable mask breakthroughs, Disneyland may actually reopen soon! So we thought we’d share with you what to expect when you return to Disneyland. Buckle in, and away we go! Stale churros We…
“Those dolls are packed close together indoors, singing.” DISNEYLAND, CA — Getting the Joe Biden animatronic to sign an executive order reopening Disneyland was just the first step. Now park officials are scrambling to make the Happiest Place on Earth the safest place on Earth. “We took a look at all of our attractions,” said…