The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear (Step)Moms: I’m a little confused. I want to create a touring plan for…
!["Father," in the middle of a racist and homophobic rant, probably. Photo by SteamFan [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/new-carousel-of-progressives-768x403.jpg)
Welcome guest contributor Vier Eiken to Uncle Walt’s Insider! No, he’s not getting paid. BAY LAKE, FL — The Walt Disney World Resort, Spa, Jello Factory, and Dog Track announced today that, in keeping with its commitment to inclusion and tolerance, the “Carousel of Progress” will be reimagined. The newly updated attraction will reopen in…
Apparently they found a found a licensed funeral director willing to help. EXPERIMENTAL PROTOTYPE COMMUNITY OF TOMMOROW CENTER, FL — In a move that has shocked a few people, Disney has returned the “Leave a Legacy” monoliths to the front of the Epcot Centre Center. The monoliths, which were removed starting in 2018, have been…
“Those dolls are packed close together indoors, singing.” DISNEYLAND, CA — Getting the Joe Biden animatronic to sign an executive order reopening Disneyland was just the first step. Now park officials are scrambling to make the Happiest Place on Earth the safest place on Earth. “We took a look at all of our attractions,” said…
![Cover photo: Our first robot president signs another diktat. Photo by WillMcC [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia / ABC News.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/biden-animatronic-reopens-disneyland-768x403.jpg)
Even malfunctioning, it’s still more coherent than the real thing. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — Disney Parks, Resorts & Spas officials have “taken advantage of a unique time in history,” Uncle Walt’s Insider has learned. “We know that there have been a flurry of executive orders being signed by Biden,” said our source, who wishes…