![Mickey Mouse. Not Marty. Image by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/not-me-as-mickey-e1591114467404-768x404.jpg)
He’ll still make appearances, but he’s turning over the running of the company to Goofy. BURBANK, CA — In a stunning move, Disney icon Mickey Mouse is retiring as the “big boss” of the Disney empire. The company announced today that Mickey, who is well into his 90’s, is “stepping away” to spend more time…
The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear (Step)Moms: First you (Step)Moms say Disneyland is not closing permanently. Then Uncle Walt’s…
![Now no one will ever take us seriously. Photo [CC0] via Pxhere.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/disneyland-not-closing-permanently-768x432.jpg)
Oops. ANAHEIM, CA — Never mind. Sorry. Were you looking forward to seeing orange groves there again? Let us know in the comments below! Need more Uncle Walt’s in your life? Be sure to LIKE us on Facebook, FOLLOW us on Twitter, and tell everyone you know! Cover photo: Now no one will ever take…
![The land will be converted back to orange groves, we're guessing. Photo [CC0] via Pxhere.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/disneyland-closes-permanently-768x432.jpg)
Not a surprise. No one’s gone there for weeks. ANAHEIM, CA — The news that we all feared has come. Contrary to the ramblings of those know-nothing “(Step)Moms” yesterday, officials at the Disney Company announced today that the Disneyland Resort will remain closed permanently. Although the reason has not been announced, we suspect the closure…
The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear (Step) Moms: So Shanghai Disneyland has reopened. I am hopeful that the U.S….