![Cover photo: Our first robot president signs another diktat. Photo by WillMcC [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia / ABC News.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/biden-animatronic-reopens-disneyland-768x403.jpg)
Even malfunctioning, it’s still more coherent than the real thing. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — Disney Parks, Resorts & Spas officials have “taken advantage of a unique time in history,” Uncle Walt’s Insider has learned. “We know that there have been a flurry of executive orders being signed by Biden,” said our source, who wishes…
It’s 100% effective at stopping the virus, and can be made with common household materials. COLLEGE STATION, TX — This may be the break Disneyland officials have been waiting for! Researchers at the Texas A&M University Department of Biotechnology and Concrete Husbandry have announced a new masking solution that is 100% effective at preventing the…
![At least no one ever dies inside a Disney park, right? Photo by deror_avi [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/covid-19-ward-on-tom-sawyer-island-768x403.jpg)
It’s being temporarily renamed “Pirate’s Covid at Tom Sawyer Island” ANAHEIM, CA — Stymied in their efforts to open their theme parks, Disney has joined the fight against Covid-19. The Disney Company announced today that Tom Sawyer Island at the Disneyland Park will become a Covid-19 ward. Disney has already outfitted the island with the…
The logo changes are so subtle. Can you spot them? ANAHEIM, CA — Disney’s recent attempt to re-open Disneyland as an autonomous zone has failed, Uncle Walt’s Insider can now report. Governor Gavin Newsom (D[highlight bg=”#000000″ color=”#000000″]espicable[/highlight]) quickly saw that the change was making his subjects freer and happier without authorization by his regime, so…
Throw a few barricades and hand-painted signs in front of the security checkpoints, and they’re good to go! ANAHEIM, CA — Borrowing an idea from Seattle protestors, today the Disney Company declared the Disneyland Resort an “autonomous zone” and opened the parks. The move comes in defiance of a ban by California Governor Gavin Newsom…