I only hope that we never lose sight of one thing: that it was all started in a Los Altos garage.
UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD - Now that the news is official that Apple is buying Disney, we thought we'd assemble a panel of experts and deep thinkers to discuss the pros and cons of the buyout.
Unfortunately, we couldn't find any experts and deep thinkers, so we had to come up with these ourselves. We'll leave it to you to sort ...
We assume the deal includes the parks. City parks, that is.
CUPERTINO, CA -- In a recently leaked memo from CEO Tim "Bob" Cook, it appears that Apple, the first company to hit $3 Trillion in valuation, is poised to spend some of their stockpiled cash on acquiring Disney! Fans of Mickey Mouse dismayed by our misleading headline need not worry, however.
In the leaked memo, Cook allegedly says, "Disney, Oklahoma, has a low population, and our research has shown that it would ...
Okay, now they own everything.
BURBANK, CA -- The Disney Company is in final talks with VeggieTales owner Universal to bring Bob the Tomato, Larry the Cucumber, and all of their vegetable friends under the Disney banner. Sources inside both companies say that they expect a deal to be closed soon.
One of the final hurdles to reaching agreement is VeggieTales demand that Disney disassociate itself from dancer and actress Julianne Hough. "Vegetables just have a problem with anything that sounds like 'julienne,'" ...
And they are currently negotiating with both major political parties.
BURBANK, CA -- In a stunning development, the Disney Company announced today that it will be purchasing Apple, Google, Microsoft and Amazon, and all of their subsidiary brands.
Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) was ecstatic.
"This is off the record, obviously," she whispered into our hidden microphone, "but this is just one step closer to our ultimate goal of world domination."
How does that square with with founder Walt Disney (related)'s dream ...