bible Archives - Uncle Walt's Insider
Hey, look! He's even doing the two-finger point! Photo courtesy TripAdvisor, slightly (?) altered.

Disney to buy Holy Land Experience, replace images of Jesus with CEO Chapek

Walt: "Hey, Marty, can you make a cover image for a story on Bob Chapek replacing Jesus without being too blasphemous?" Marty: "Can I finally get paid for doing this?" Walt: "Ha ha ha ha ha! No." ORLANDO, FL-- Disney has announced exciting plans to acquire and reopen the Holy Land Experience theme park! In an all-cash deal valued at, oh, let's round it up to $20, Disney will buy the property, buildings, and intellectual property associated with the park. (See our companion article: ...
August 29, 2022 by Walt in Florida
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The Holy Land -- wheeeeeee! - Experience. Photo by Zfigueroa [CC BY-SA 4.0] via Wikimedia.

Holy Land Experience moves to attract younger generation

Out with the King James Version, in with the drums and smoke machines. ORLANDO, FL -- Orlando's #1 [Ed.: Hashtag 1? What does that mean?] tourist attraction, The Holy Land Experience, is making even more drastic changes to grow their attendance. In addition to adding new thrill rides, the park is also changing signage and updating costumes. They hope to attract a younger generation by moving from being a "traditional" to a "contemporary" Bible-based destination. Holy Land Experience (the theme park) representative, ...
January 28, 2020 by Walt in Florida
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The Holy Land -- wheeeeeee! - Experience. Photo by Zfigueroa [CC BY-SA 4.0] via Wikimedia.

Holy Land Experience adds thrill rides to attract new crowds

Like the Good Book says, "Improvise. Adapt. Overcome." No, wait - that was Clint Eastwood in Heartbreak Ridge. ORLANDO, FL -- Everyone's favorite Orlando-area theme park that isn't Disney or Universal and is also themed to the Bible has fallen on some hard times lately. However, they're not throwing in the towel yet!  In fact, rather than scaling back, the park will be adding thrill rides in hopes of drawing in a whole new crowd. Holy Land Experience (the theme park) spokesperson Jun ...
January 21, 2020 by Marty in Florida
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Soarin' empty? Repent from the coming wrath! Photo by Uncle Walt; used without permission.

No line at Soarin’ a “sign of the End Times,” says expert

No one waiting for Soarin' at Epcot? The Apocalypse draws nigh. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- It is one of Disney's most popular attractions, and has been since it opened. From its original "over California" film, to the mostly-CG "around the World" version, to its coming all-fake "around the Solar System," Soarin' is a must-see for most guests. Or it used to be, at least. And when our own Uncle Walt found a "0 minute" wait time and absolutely no one in line, ...
March 25, 2019 by Marty in California, Florida
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