The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
“Dear (Step) Moms: The information you provide is wildly different from the Disney Moms Panel. Your advice seems timely and solid. Should I trust what the official panel says? Is their advice worth the paper it’s written on?” – Michael S., Boulder, CO
Harriet:
Just don’t go to Walt Disney World. There are already enough people there without you.
Ub:
Hi, Mike. How’s the paper industry? Thank you for being a loyal reader of Uncle Walt’s Insider, and welcome back to the (Step) Moms Panel.
When visiting the parks, it’s important that you follow our directions explicitly. Forget that warning in red up at the top of the page, listen to me. You came here for advice, so take it.
Unfortunately, we are in no position at UWI to comment on the Official[citation needed] Disney Moms Panel, so let me tell you about ourselves. You’ll have to imagine you’re in the room with us.
To start, we have Halloween decorations up, as well as our Christmas tree, and a couple menorahs lying around to keep X happy. Over there in the corner, there’s… Okay, so I’m the one in the corner. Walt’s got the only window in the office, says he needs it for meditation or something like that. And see? There’s Marty singing Christmas carols as he does all year long. At least he stays away from All I Want For Christmas Is You. If he did that, I think I’d have to resort to workplace violence.
Anyway, as we write, we huddle around our own desks and if someone comes over, we generally hide our work from each other. The good news is that we can see each other coming, so it’s not hard. It’s part of why I set my desk to face out from the corner. That, and I like climbing over it to get to my chair. Well, I say chair. Actually a box. I’ve not been around long enough to get a chair like Walt and Marty.
We generally arrive around the crack of 11. At least, that’s when I get there. Walt says the rest of them have been there since 7:00, but do you really believe that?
Anyway, I would say to be careful taking any advice from the DMP. Did you see that music video they did with Aerosmith a couple years back where they broke through a wall? All I’m saying is be careful.
And stick with your most trusted source for super-reliable theme park news!
X:
Hello Michael. The most important thing when reading advice columnists on the internet is the Latin phrase “Cui Bono?”, “Who benefits?” The official Disney Parks Mom’s Panel are compensated endorsers. Meaning, they get paid to say positive things about Disney. Also, I’m pretty sure most of their answers are just fill-in-the-blank style templates.
However, we at the Uncle Walt’s Insider Step-Moms panel are under no such restrictions. Every answer we provide is rigorously researched, hand written, and free from any commercial sponsorship.
Does that make us better? We certainly think so. So get Allstate, and be better protected from mayhem like the official Mom’s Panel.
Walt:
Hi Michelle, thanks for asking.
It is great that you are planning a Dollywood vacation! While in Gatlinburg, I recommend Sugarlands. I recall my first sip of their delicious moonshine, which you can sample at their location at 805 Parkway in beautiful Gatlinburg, TN! Sugarlands, for all of your moonshine needs!
Marty:
There’s an official Disney Moms Panel?
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