The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
“Dear (Step) Moms: I see that the parks are being decorated with all sorts of holiday foolishness. When will all this humbug end so I may visit Walt Disney World in peace?” – Ebenezer S., London, England
Marty:
You can’t fool me, “Eb,” or whatever your real name is. The real Ebenezer Scrooge wouldn’t set foot on Disney property. He’d have to spend too much.
Walt:
EB! Long time no see!
How is your business partner? I always enjoyed seeing him. Perhaps the three of us shall get together for tea on my next trip to Jolly ole England?
Cheers!
X:
Hello Benz.
‘Disney’s International Salute to All Holidays But Mostly Christmas‘ usually runs until early February each year, at which point they transition all the decorations to ‘Disney’s International Salute to the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre.’
Ub:
Hiya, Ebbie, and thank you for writing in.
The holidays at Walt Disney World are the most expensive time of the year. What with the extra merchandise, higher ticket prices, and hard-ticket events, you’re sure to find yourself spending more money during the holidays! And that, my friend, is why you need to purchase ThemeParkGuardTM, the all-new service from the makers of Flex Seals and the Tiddy Bear.
Whether you’re looking to repair the Liberty Bell while scuba diving in Rivers of America (for which I recommend you’re up to date on your distemper and parvo vaccines) or fix the tracks on the Forbidden Mountain, you want a super strong, water-tight seal that keeps its grip, even in the toughest conditions, so the inside is completely dry. Yee-doggy!
We find that the best time to visit the Walt Disney World Resort is… well, actually I’ll let Harriet answer.
Harriet:
Just don’t go to Walt Disney World. There are already enough people there without you.
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