The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
“Dear (Step) Moms: If I have to take a non-Disney vacation, would you recommend Montreal, Riyadh, Zhejiang, or Dallas?” – Liz W., Portland, OR
I’m sorry, what? Non… Disney… vacation…? I know what those words mean, but not together like that.
Anyway, I don’t understand your question, at all, but you can’t go wrong going wherever there are churros. (Disney.)
That is an… oddly specific… list of possible vacation destinations. I’m curious as to your thought process. How did you select these particular destinations?
Ignoring that, if you want a theme park experience but can’t get to Disney, I would probably have to recommend Riyadh. From there, it’s just a short 8-1/2 hour drive to Dubai, and all its wonderful theme parks. Alternatively, from Montreal to Sandusky, OH is only a 10 hour drive. As you well know, Sandusky is home to Cedar Point [Ed.: And Emil Bleehall!], which is the only reason to every want to spend time in that state. However the border crossing between Canada and the USA may be an easier crossing than Saudi Arabia to UAE, so Sandusky may be an appealing alternative. But it is still in Ohio, which is a negative.
As for Zhejiang? Well, the Chinese government has said that we can’t speak of them. So we have no recommendations. Although, off the record, I hear there are some great BBQ restaurants there.
Marty: You forgot the one-time champion NBA basketball team.
I’ve never been to any of those locations. Well, I’ve been to Dallas many times, but never outside the airport, since I fly a certain AAirline that has many flights passing through there. In fact, I’ll be stopping there for several hours because I’ll be flying on miles, and when you do that AAll your choices include lAAyovers that AAllow you AAmple time to go explore.
Once I’ve done that, I’ll let you know.
Just don’t go to Walt Disney World. There are already enough people there without you.
Hi, Luke. Thanks for asking.
I know Dallas is real, but the others sound like you’re making things up so you can tell your family that Disney isn’t the only option. I’m here to say, it’s the only option.
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