The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
“Dear (Step) Moms: I’m worried that Disney parks will never be the same after this virus scare. How do you think going to Walt Disney World will change once it reopens?” – Paula W, Asheville NC
Marty:
Paul, don’t worry. I can put your fears at rest.
Going to Walt Disney World won’t change at all. Not one bit. After all, it’ll still be in the exact same place! Just go to it the way you always did before.
Walt:
Hi Ashley, thanks for asking.
I think it’s pretty much going to be like it was before. You arrive on property via car, truck, van, bus, or hovercraft. To get to the parks you’ll still take a car, bus, Minnie Van, monorail, boat, Skyliner, wagon train, or mule train.
Ub:
Hello Paula.
Current research shows that the COVID-19 virus is quickly killed in higher temperatures and more sunlight. Therefore, it’s only logical that they’ll want more people in the parks, which will lead them to increase park capacity from 100,000 for the Magic Kingdom to 250,000+, and they might decide not to open the parks on days with fewer than 125,000 guests visiting.
Because of the effects of UV radiation on the bugs, they will also ban all sunblock products and shade. You don’t want the virus getting into that stuff and surviving any longer than it has to.
To further assist in the destruction of the virus, expect them to raise the temperature at Mission: Space. Until now, they’ve kept the temperature around 42 degrees to help riders avoid motion sickness from the spinning simulators. Now, though, a balmy 95 degrees will ensure that no COVID-19 strains are able to survive. You should also plan on this being the case at all indoor attractions.
Hope that helps ease your fears about visiting the Walt Disney World Resort theme parks in the future!
Harriet:
Just go to Walt Disney World. There aren’t enough viruses there without you.
X:
Beats me.
Baby Yoda:
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