(Step)Moms Panel: Are there any holidays NOT included at Disney Parks? |

(Step)Moms Panel: Are there any holidays NOT included at Disney Parks?

UWI Step Moms Panel

The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]

“Dear (Step) Moms: It used to be that Disney parks clearly celebrated Christmas, but they’ve since expanded it to include Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus, and who knows what else. I’m okay with that, but are there any holidays that aren’t included in Disney’s Festival of the Holidays?” – Sindri Davies, Perryville MO

Harriet: 

Just don’t go to Walt Disney World. There are already enough people there without you. Bah humbug.

Marty:

Dear Sinner,

There is one holiday that Disney always overlooks: National French Toast Day. But don’t worry — we cover it here at Uncle Walt’s Insider.

X:

Hello Cyndi. Regardless of what you seem to think, there is no such thing as a war on Christmas. Have you ever wandered out to anywhere in public during the month of December? Try a shopping mall. Do they not play enough Christmas music? What about the three or four FM stations in your area that go to all Christmas music all the time? Plus the three stations on Sirius. And countless more on Spotify and Pandora. Have you ever heard even one station playing only Hanukkah music? No. Because there’s no war on Christmas.

Actually, considering Hanukkah was around for thousands of years before the first Christmas celebration, we should really call Christmas ‘the War on Hanukkah.’ But do you see any Jewish people complaining? Nope. They’ll just wish you a happy holiday and be on their merry way.

Sorry, I got a little off topic. To answer your question, ‘Are there any holidays that aren’t included in the Festival of the Holidays?’… Besides Marty’s, I can think of three more: Dyngus Day (April 13), Boxing Day (December 26 – not valid in Disneyland’s Toontown), and Pepper Potts Day (December 29).

Walt:

X is right. There is a war on Christmas!

Ub:

OMG. Marty won’t stop playing Christmas tunes – and singing along. He’s been going since early March. And that’s after the lovely reprieve we had after he FINALLY stopped singing after last year’s Christmas in mid-March. I was actually thankful when he switched to Let It Go, if you can believe that.

Not that we mind his singing. He’s, like, really, really good. He warbles with the best of ’em, but he just doesn’t let up on the Christmas music, and he really belts it out. I’ve been begging Walt for an assignment just for some peace. He chained me to my desk.

But you know what’s the worst? Marty’s got a song that he likes to bring up every so often. He got it off a ride the last time he was at Disneyland. And when he starts singing it, he just keeps repeating it. Some say this is the result of the fact that the ride broke down while he was singing along in the third showroom, but I think he does it just to torture me. And I know you know the words.

“It’s…

Marty:

Thanks for reminding me, Ub!! <singing> “it’s a small world after all, it’s a small world after all, it’s a small world….

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