The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
“Dear (Step) Moms: I’m trying to get my husband to take our family to Walt Disney World, but he’s just not that excited about the idea. He’s an avid golfer, and I know Walt Disney World has golf courses. What can you tell me about them to help me win him over?” – Deb Summerfield, Columbia MO
Marty:
Mouse balls.
Dear Summer, you can assure your boneheaded husband that Walt Disney World is a magical place, like Tahiti. And the golf courses are amazing! Really, the only thing different about them is that all of the golf balls are Mickey-shaped (pictured). But that just makes the game more fun and challenging! They don’t roll, and you never know which way they’ll bounce!
A lot of the Cast Members call them “mouse balls,” but we’d never stoop that low.
Walt:
Hi Deb, thanks for asking.
Personally, I avoid golf. The perfectly manicured lawns make me feel inferior when I get back to my humble abode and see the weeds standing tall, and if you stand just right, you can see the bare patches of dirt peaking through in the familiar shape of a dirt patch.
Plus, the obstacles are just too frustrating. The windmills, giant clown faces, various hills to hit the ball up… I could go on and on, but I won’t due to the rising cost of web ink.
Alas, if your husband insists on golfing, there are two options. Winter Summerland Miniature Golf offers two 18-hole courses, and Fantasia Gardens & Miniature Golf also features two 18-hole courses for his golfing pleasure. [Ed.: So wouldn’t that be four options? Or 72?]
Take care when driving golf carts on both at these courses, due to the fact that the paths aren’t large enough to accommodate golf carts. Enjoy!
X:
Hi Deb. Be careful. It’s been rumored that the “Gardens” course at Fantasia Gardens is where Tiger Woods comes to practice putting. Unless you want to putt like Tiger, then I’d stay far far away.
Harriet:
Just don’t go to Walt Disney World. There are already enough people there without you.
Ub:
[Ub is apparently off playing with his choo choos.]
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