(Step)Moms Panel: Coronavirus fears PART 2 |

(Step)Moms Panel: Coronavirus fears PART 2

UWI Step Moms Panel

The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]

So apparently Harriet hijacked this question and deleted all of the answers from the other (Step) Moms, just to push her “don’t go to the parks” agenda. Fortunately, with much effort and at great expense, we were able to recover our answers and present them to you now.

We’re on to you, Harriet. No churro for you today.

“Dear (Step) Moms: There’s a lot of fear about the coronavirus, and some experts say we should avoid public crowds. So should I stay away from Walt Disney World?” – Becca L., Asheville NC

Marty: 

Thanks for writing, Becky!

First, don’t listen to Harriet. She just wants the parks to herself. We think. We haven’t seen her in a while.

Of course you should continue to go to Walt Disney World. Just be sure to wash your hands frequently and not touch your face. As an extra precaution, wash the hands of everyone around you as well, and try to limit touching their faces.

Finally, if you see anyone who looks like they are the type to carry disease, avoid them. It goes without saying that that includes any Uncle Walt’s staff. If you see any of us, flee in the opposite direction (after buying us a churro, of course).

X: 

Do whatever you want. Everyone is going to die sooner or later, so you might as well enjoy the vacations while you still can.

Baby Yoda:

Ub: 

Hi Bucky,

Walt Disney World is a place of joy for billions of people around the world, and the Cast Members there work tirelessly to make it such a magical place. That’s why you should go and support them, making sure to give every Cast Member you see a hug and maybe even a sloppy wet kiss to show them oh, how you love them, oh. Make sure you have their permission first – a remark I write under duress.

As far as any sort of virus, it’s actually good for Cast Members to be exposed to viruses from around the world. That way, they can build immunity faster, and as they do they can pass that immunity on to others. It’s actually one of the health benefits of being a Cast Member, along with the insurance and on-site medical center at Rafiki’s Planet Watch.

With all these benefits, Cast Members are sure to miss several of the others they have, like going to work on their days off. Thanks to an ingenious use of Costuming services, it’s possible for some Cast Members to never do laundry, instead allowing those Cast Members to spend more time working.

So go to Disney World. If you’re experiencing Coronavirus symptoms which I’m sure Marty will link, stay home and have a Coronavirus party. Whether you hold a COVID-15 or a COVID-19 party is totally up to you.

IMPORTANT Editorial Note: Ub’s remarks have not been seen, evaluated, and most certainly not endorsed by the Food and Drug Administration, Centers for Disease Control, or by anyone with any sort of medical knowledge. His advice should not be used to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, and his advice should not be followed under any circumstances.

Walt: 

Hi Cammie, thanks for asking.

I’m literally writing this from a table at Yak and Yeti at the Animal Kingdom Park, Resort & Tree Hugging Training Center. That should say it all. But, to spell it out. I’m here. It’s safe. Wash your hands all of the time, use hand sanitizer, and remember to tip your waitress.

Marty: 

Yak & Yeti is letting you back in now, Walt? Really thought it would take them longer than five years to forget “the incident.”

Walt: 

That was in my Colonel Sanders time period where I only had the goatee. The mustache threw them off this time around.

Ub: 

Are you going to see if you can get back into Jambo House, too?

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