The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
“I’m bringing a group of 82 teenagers from August 25 through 31, and we’re staying at Pop Century. What should we do about the people who get angry when we shove our way through the lines on attractions? After all, we’re a large group and can’t afford to wait 45 minutes for Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. Can we have Disney explain to everyone else why we need to get through the lines faster?” – Vitór Rocha Dias, São Paulo, Brazil
Harriet:
Just don’t go to Walt Disney World. There are already enough people there without you. [Ed.: Okay, this fits, but is anyone else starting to notice a pattern in Harriet’s answers?]
X:
You know, this reminds me of when I was watching the opening ceremony for the 2016 Olympic Games. One of my friends, who is familiar with Tour Groups at Walt Disney World Resort and Spa and U-Pick Blueberry Farms, commented that ‘There is absolutely nothing in the world that I associate with Brazil more than watching large groups of people in brightly coloured outfits following a flag and yelling.’
Marty:
As a Brazilian myself, I refuse to answer questions that play into stereotypes. After all, some Brazilians stay at the All-Star Resorts.
Walt:
August 25th to 31st? I won’t be there, so enjoy!
Ub:
Hi Vitor! I took my reply over to Google Translate, and did you know that they call Portuguese “Igbo”? Huh. Anyway, this should be easier and faster to read than my response in English. I think we all should have such compassion for our fellow man as to pre-translate everything we say for them. Why, maybe one day, we’ll all speak the same language and make it a small world after all.
I remember when I visited Saint Petersburg, Russia, on a cruise and I didn’t know a single word of the language. It was so stressful. I can’t imagine what it would have been like to be there as a part of a large group on a tour and only have my tour guide. Fortunately, they had buses for us to get around to the different tourist-y sites, with just enough time between stops for, and I’m not making this up, the same people at the last stop to set up shop at our next stop. What a whirlwind.
And when grouping, it’s important that you line everyone up by age, because in Thailand age is very important. They did a great job showcasing this on Season 5 of Survivor. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it. Anyway, without further ado, here’s my advice for your group:
Ndewo Vitór! Ọ bụ ihe ịtụnanya na ị ga – akpọta ụmụ gị na Walt Disney World! Mgbe ị na-esoro ụmụaka na-eto eto, ọ dị mkpa ka ị na-ewepụta oge site n’oge ruo n’oge iji mee ka ụmụaka ahụ nwee ọrụ na uche ha.
Mgbe ị ga-achọ ihe nkiri na Disney World, ọ dị mkpa ka ị na-ewetara ụmụaka gị ihe omume iji mee ka ha nọrọ n’ọrụ mgbe ha na-eche. Tupu njem gị, bute ha n’ụlọ oriri na ọ whereụ toụ ebe ha ga-eche maka nri ha, ma ọ bụ kpọga ha n’ogige ntụrụndụ mpaghara ma mee ka ha chere maka mgbanwe. Bido na sekọnd iri atọ, ma rụọ ọrụ gị ruo awa anọ, yabụ ha ga-adị njikere maka ahịrị dị na Stitch’s Great mgbapụ, nke nwere ike ịnwe ọtụtụ ụbọchị.
Mgbe ụfọdụ, enwere oge a na-ekwu na ị ga na-emeso nwatakịrị ga-achọ ịnabata ya ugbu a! N’ọnọdụ dị ka nke a, ọ dị mkpa ịnwe ekwentị gị ka ị nwee ike ịkpọ ha ihe nkiri. Gbalịa itinye olu ya elu, anyị anaghị atụ aro itinye ekwentị na ikpe, ebe ọ bụ na nke ahụ ga-ebelata ogo ụda. Ọ dịkwa ezigbo mkpa na mmadụ iri ise ndị nọ gị nso nwere ike ịnụ ihe nkiri ahụ karịa mkpọtụ nke isiokwu na-adọba ụgbọala n’ime ahịrị ha.
Gbaa mbọ hụ na ị na-ewetara ụmụ gị nri ga-ezuru ha ka ha zoo. Etu anọ n’otu ọ bụla na-adọta onwe ha kwesịrị ịbụ zuru oke. Anyị na-atụ aro churros, ma ọ bụ n’ihe banyere ụmụaka nwere obere ọkwa mara mma, a na-eme ka cream-jujuru ude.
N’ikpeazụ, oge kachasị mma iji soro usoro mkpirisi dị mkpirikpi bụ mgbe elekere 10 nke ehihie gasịrị. N’ezie, a gaghị enwe ahịrị ọlị. Akụkụ kachasị mma bụ, ebe onye ọ bụla ọzọ na-ehi ụra, ị ga-anọ n’ogige ntụrụndụ ma nwee ike ịnweta ezumike abalị zuru ezu. Mgbe ahụ, ha pụọ n’ogige ntụrụndụ, ndị otu gị ga-anọ n’ime ụlọ gị na-ehi ụra. Ọ bụ nnukwu ahia-apụ nke ndị ọbịa ndị ọzọ ji n’aka na ha ga-enwe ekele maka!
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