Uncle Walt's Insider Marty, Author at Uncle Walt's Insider

No one at Disneyl... Hang on, we publish this at 6 am Pacific Time, well before the park opens. And why would there be sunlight? Photo via Twitter.

Disneyland reopens, no one comes

Our reporter is on the scene! But so far, no one else. DISNEYLAND, CA -- Disneyland has reopened, but apparently no one cares. Your reporter has been on the scene in the Disneyland Plaza for a few hours, but apart from a handful of people meandering towards Downtown Disney, I'm it. I really expected happy, smiling (well, maybe smiling; they'd have masks on) throngs of families lining up to be the first in to a newly-reopened Disneyland. But not only are there no ...

Epcot's Iran Pavilion, pictured before tomorrow's air strike. Photo by Alen Ištoković [CC BY 3.0] via Wikimedia Commons.

Epcot’s Iran Pavilion suffers blackout, Israel Pavilion blamed

This is the worst international incident at Epcot since the maps calling Canada "America's Hat." WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Tensions are high in EPCOT Center's World Showcase, as one pavilion is accusing another of sabotage and breaching its sovereign territory. The Epcot Iran Pavilion suffered a power outage for several hours yesterday afternoon. The outage affected the pavilion's restaurants, mosque, and nuclear weapons laboratory. A spokesperson for the pavilion cast the blame on the nearby Israel Pavilion, opened by President Trump in ...

April 26, 2021 by Marty in Florida

Electrical lines soon to carry Walt-generated power! Photo [CC0] via Picryl.com.

Problem solved: all California to be powered by Walt Disney spinning in his grave

Tattoos? Piercings? Guys wearing nail polish? Whirr, whirr, whirr, whirr, whirrrrrr... ANAHEIM, CA -- No more blackouts for the California power grid -- the problem of an insufficient electrical supply has been solved, perhaps permanently! "Our Imagineers -- smart people -- they've theorized this was possible for quite a while," said Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation). "Just hook up a generator in the vault where we have Walt Disney's frozen body, get it spinning fast enough, and boom, plenty of ...

April 20, 2021 by Marty in California

(Step)Moms Panel: I came to the UWI Meetup — where were you???

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: Did I miss something? You said that you'd be meeting your readers at Disneyland last Saturday. I was in the Plaza at 8:00 sharp and waited around for an hour, but never saw you. What gives?" - Jillian Bannister, ...

April 8, 2021 by Marty in step-planDisney

Remember, Walt: the entrance does not say Frozen Ever After. Photo courtesy of DisneyTouristBlog, used by permission.

Surprises from our preview of the new Ratatouille ride

It's everything we want in a rat-themed attraction! WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- There are a lot of changes happening at Epcot. From the conversion of Spaceship Earth to an apartment complex (have you signed your lease yet?!), and the relocation of the cemetery, to the spectacular Friendship Boat jump coming to the nighttime show, there will be something for everyone. But one new attraction has everyone talking: Ratatouille. As we mentioned last Thursday, the staff of Uncle Walt's Insider got to experience ...

April 5, 2021 by Marty in Florida