“Those dolls are packed close together indoors, singing.” DISNEYLAND, CA — Getting the Joe Biden animatronic to sign an executive order reopening Disneyland was just the first step. Now park officials are scrambling to make the Happiest Place on Earth the safest place on Earth. “We took a look at all of our attractions,” said…
![Cover photo: Our first robot president signs another diktat. Photo by WillMcC [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia / ABC News.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/biden-animatronic-reopens-disneyland-768x403.jpg)
Even malfunctioning, it’s still more coherent than the real thing. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — Disney Parks, Resorts & Spas officials have “taken advantage of a unique time in history,” Uncle Walt’s Insider has learned. “We know that there have been a flurry of executive orders being signed by Biden,” said our source, who wishes…
![President* Biden's animatronic in the Hall of President*s is already malfunctioning. Or is it? Photo by Kjersti Holmang [CC BY-SA 4.0] via Wikipedia.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/biden-animatronic-already-malfunctioning-768x403.jpg)
It’s only recently been installed, but it seems to have the same glitches as on the campaign trail. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — The Magic Kingdom Park’s Hall of Presidents attraction is reportedly closed after the animatronic figure of President* Joe Biden began malfunctioning, less than ten days after it was installed. Reports from insiders say…
Oddly, it arrived back from the DNC in a box labeled “John Gill.” WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — The Hall of Presidents at Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom already has a new occupant. President* Joe Biden’s animatronic was installed within minutes of his swearing-in. Normally the process of creating and installing a new presidential animatronic…
First they came for the ducks, but I did not speak out because I was not a duck… SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Complete Unbiased® social media giant Twitter is permanently banning the @RealDonaldDuck account from ever tweeting again. Head Twit Jack Dorsey announced the move today. “We try to understand The Donald’s tweets, but they…