The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear (Step)Moms: With all the current crises in the news, I feel like we’ve…
![Former official campaign photo of Joe Rohde’s Earring, courtesy Joe Rohde’s Earring for President 2020. Photo by alchetron.com [CC BY-SA 3.0].](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/joe-rohdes-earring-for-president-2020b-768x403.jpg)
It’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off for them. BURBANK, CA — Joe Rohde’s Earring yesterday is suspending its campaign for the presidency. The brief press release issued yesterday gave three reasons for the decision. The campaign just never gained traction, due to “the quarantine preventing campaign events,” “difficulty in fundraising,”…
![I'll never let go, Jack. Er, I mean Mickey. Photo [CC0] via Pxfuel & clipart-library.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/disney-magic-to-be-scuttled-768x403.jpg)
Why don’t they ever sink ships to create natural reefs? PORT CANAVERAL, FL — The Disney Magic is the latest victim of the Covid-19 shutdown. Disney Cruise Line announced today that the Magic, the first cruise ship in the Disney fleet, will be sunk and turned into an artificial reef. With the high cost of maintaining the ship during…
The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear (Step)Moms: So now we know when Walt Disney World is reopening. But I…
![What exactly are the mask's ear loops holding on to? Photo by Kjaergaard [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/shamu-wearing-proper-face-protection-768x432.jpg)
What exactly are Shamu’s mask’s ear loops holding on to? ORLANDO, FL — Looks like SeaWorld’s animals will get to swim around some more. Our taste buds’ loss is their gain. Interim SeaWorld CEO Marc Swanson (of Swanson TV dinners fame) presented their plans to the May 27th Orange County Economic Recovery Task Force (M27OCERTF,…