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Uncle Walt’s staff in quarantine after going viral
ByMarty September 21, 2020September 16, 2020

We’re at an elevated risk, since we go viral so rarely. UNCLE WALT’S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD — The entire staff of Uncle Walt’s Insider has been quarantined in our Svalbard headquarters after one of our articles went viral recently. As mentioned by completely non-political and unbiased website Snopes [Ed.: remember, we are satire.], a recent…

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California | Florida | Other

Seven Dwarfs quarantined; only one is symptomatic
ByMarty August 4, 2020July 30, 2020

He’s been “sneezing like crazy.” BURBANK, CA — In a statement released today, the Disney Company announced that all seven dwarfs have been quarantined after possible exposure to COVID-19. Only one is showing any symptoms of the virus. Citing medical privacy laws, the company refused to provide the identity of the symptomatic character. However, they…

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