The logo changes are so subtle. Can you spot them? ANAHEIM, CA — Disney’s recent attempt to re-open Disneyland as an autonomous zone has failed, Uncle Walt’s Insider can now report. Governor Gavin Newsom (D[highlight bg=”#000000″ color=”#000000″]espicable[/highlight]) quickly saw that the change was making his subjects freer and happier without authorization by his regime, so…
Throw a few barricades and hand-painted signs in front of the security checkpoints, and they’re good to go! ANAHEIM, CA — Borrowing an idea from Seattle protestors, today the Disney Company declared the Disneyland Resort an “autonomous zone” and opened the parks. The move comes in defiance of a ban by California Governor Gavin Newsom…
Nothing says “overbearing dictator” like denying citizens their Churros. ANAHEIM, CA — While Disney continues to box up Disneyland for the move to Texas, even bigger news has dominated the headlines. California Governor Gavin Newsom (D[highlight bg=”#000000″ color=”#000000″]estroyer of Economies[/highlight]) is facing a recall from angry voters. Newsom’s previous orders, while strict, were at least…
The Science® says the virus won’t survive the freezing process. Probably. Maybe. SACRADEMENTO, CA — Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-Hypocrite) issued new guidelines for theme park reopening in California today. Disneyland can reopen to any guests who have been frozen in carbonite for at least 14 days. Admission preference will be given to anyone frozen since…
![Totally not a ride exit. Just a gift shop with a really fun and entertaining entrance. Photo by Patrick Pelletier [CC BY-SA 4.0] via Wikimedia.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/disneyland-rides-reopened-as-shops-768x403.jpg)
The rides already exit into gift shops. Why not take advantage of that? ANAHEIM, CA — Disney has already shown that you can safely operate a theme park. Billions of visitors currently at Walt Disney World (95% of them at Disney’s Hollywood Studios) have proven that fact. However, California governor Gavin Newsome (D[redact]ick[/redact]) has continued…