My Mom passed away

[Big Wallaby]

While it is so difficult, I'm glad to hear you were able to talk to her one last time.

Thoughts and prayers for you and your concerns for the future.

[felinefan]

Thanks everyone. My sisters were here earlier going through mom's papers and stuff, since my younger sister is the executrix, and she says depending on how much the service, cremation, etc., what's left of mom's money will be divided among us four surviving kids. I might get $12,000, but my sister would be managing that. I'm going to have to find a room to rent, hopefully still here in Orange County, because I have a great vet and Tripod is due for bloodwork and vaccinations. The only problem I have with being a roommate to an older person is, sooner or later my client would pass on, and that's not something I'd care to have happen. My sister once had a neighbor when she was living in the apartments we lived in in Anaheim, her neighbor had her mother, then her sister, then her roommate pass away on her in succession. She moved shortly thereafter.

Poor Tripod is so confused--Friday after mom took me to my sister's boss' place to housesit, is when I guess she got sick. It was Sunday when my niece came and got me. Or maybe she got sick Saturday. Anyway, all Tripod knows is a bunch of strangers (paramedics) came while I was gone, and took mom away. Then I came home and shortly afterward left again. And now my sisters have been here, along with my youngest sister's fiance and their dog. My youngest sister sent the dog and her fiance home last night, and she stayed with me. I've got laundry and cleaning to do. They're picking up mom's ashes Saturday, but the date of the service hasn't been set yet. Mom's youngest brother is still in the hospital due to problems connected to his radiation treatment and surgery for colon cancer, so things are somewhat out of whack.

My stupid brother-in-law was making remarks I felt were inappropriate concerning my situation, about how he'd been telling me for years that I needed to get a job, etc.. and now he acts like it's my own fault. No, I was misdiagnosed as having a learning disability when I was a kid, and my parents were told that I would never be able to live alone, drive or keep a decent job. Mainly mom was the one who perpetuated this myth, and kept me from developing my skill set. I never had a learning disability; it took me 35 years to find out that I'm an ISTJ on the Meyers-Briggs Temerment Indicator, and it takes me time to thoroughly analyze things. But my I.Q. is in the gifted range. There are so many myths about what intelligent means....

My sister will have the rent paid on this place until March; the lease is supposed to run until September, but obviously it isn't. So I have to find a place--a room, not an apartment--and a job. I may not see the money until April. Now, I just hope my BIL shuts his mouth.....

[mechurchlady]

On March 3rd I can give you $100 toward rent if you need it. As for the brother in law would you like a fat lady to sit on him for a while? As for who you are and what you need to do and have not done please forget about what others think. It only makes things worse. Also with your age you might be able to get into senior housing when you turn 55 but that will be another 20 years, right? I promise you that you will not sleep on the streets ever and that God will provide somehow as he promised to take care of his children.

I still have enough left in the bank to get you a double double animal style with animal fries and a chocolate shake. In my house it is always mystery meat as I am tired from shopping so I wrap and freeze the meat but am so tired that I just toss the meat into the freezer. Today was chicken and now I have two packages thawing but am not sure what they will be. I am hoping for hamburgers tomorrow but who knows.

See you at the Big Wallaby luau and barbecue. Dibs on the burgers.

Sending you hugs and cheeseburgers and chocolates
Laurie

[DDuckLover]

I'm so sorry! My thoughts are with you. <3

[felinefan]

Actually, there's quite a bit of food right now; I made a cake to eat (red velvet with chocolate frosting, anyone?), and as for my BIL, he and my sister came over this morning to clean out most of mom's stuff, and he hardly said a word. I gotta be out of here by the end of March, so I'm looking on Craigslist for a room to rent. I'm hoping for Anaheim--I'm in Tustin--mainly because the rents are lower but hopefully it'll be more convienent to get Tripod to the vet as needed. My sister cancelled mom's credit cards, so I can't reload the Smart Card for laundry, which means back to the coin laundry again. I cleaned mom's bathroom, dusted and vacuumed her bedroom and the living room, cleaned the entry and kitchen floors. I was going to vacuum and dust my bedroom and clean my bathroom, but I've been having stress headaches since Sunday and so that's as far as I got.

Yeah, Churchy, you're right nobody should tell me what to do, but he's such a strong personality it's hard to talk back to him. And he's pretty good size, too. And after my birthday in August, it'll be two years until I qualify for senior housing. Yeah, I know, you were giving a compliment. :) But my sister suggested I look into social services to see if I qualify for Social Security benefits. I always thought that you could only get SS at 52 if you were disabled, and since I'm not, we'll see.

[Disneyluvr]

I don't post here often, but I had to reply to this message. I'm so sorry for your loss. I am unemployed as well. Just keep looking, I am sure you will find something soon. I'll keep you in my prayers.

[hobie16]

But my sister suggested I look into social services to see if I qualify for Social Security benefits. I always thought that you could only get SS at 52 if you were disabled, and since I'm not, we'll see.

SSI is available to anyone of any age if they're disabled. The trick is they will turn you down twice. The third time is the charm. Typical govment BS.

If you still have problems after the third application, contact your local congressman.

[DisneyMom]

I'm sorry to say, even if you could get SSI, it takes months and they won't give it to you if you have more than $2,000 in assets. I think the max is around $700.00/month.
Maybe a local church has some assistance for you, and a job agency may have some live-in positions available.
I am so sorry that your family isn't able to help at this time. I think you are very intelligent and will be able to succeed, so please don't give up.

[Elena (aka: Bubble Lady)]

SSI is available to anyone of any age if they're disabled. The trick is they will turn you down twice. The third time is the charm. Typical govment BS.

If you still have problems after the third application, contact your local congressman.

[font="Palatino Linotype"]unless your name is elena c...then they turn you down 4 times[/font] :mad:

[Elena (aka: Bubble Lady)]

[font="Palatino Linotype"]i'm so very sorry for your loss...it's really difficult to lose your mom...i know...i've been missing mine for over 17 yrs. now...i miss her every day...

but, for heaven's sake, don't let your bil bully you...i had one of those trying to do that when my dad died when i was almost 14...i finally had enough when i was almost 16 and told him he wasn't my dad and to back off (he's 10 yrs. older than i am)...

things will come together...and you certainly have friends here[/font]