Hey guys, I've missed you...

[GaTechGal]

Can you believe, when i pointed out to my brother that I am the only one of the four kids who on top of dealing with failing health of my own has a child to care for, his response was a very condescending "honey, she's 12 she doesn't need you to hold her hand all the time." My reply was "Honey, you're 30, and mom is 65 and dad is 67. Who needs my hand-holding more, all of you adults or the only CHILD in this family???"

Nice comeback Bru. Could the same minister that got your mother's head right work on your dad? More prayers for strength for you.

[Princess Susi]

Hey Bru,
Sounds like you have your hands full. I would just not deal with my brother anymore. You can still love your father and spend time with him and just refuse to deal with the rest of it. If your father knows that you are there for him, that is what counts. The rest is just a wash.

You cannot do anything about what the other family members say or do, but you can NOT listen to it. Tell them that you just are not going to talk to them anymore and that's that, don't call me, don't write, don't come around.

You can be there for your father as long as he is around and he will know that you love him no matter what else is going on. That will mean a great deal to him and to you. Later in life you will be glad that you had the time with him and you will have the good memories and know that you did the right thing for yourself. Don't let other family members get you down.

Everyone reacts to things like this differently. Fear and sadness can make people say and do strange and odd things, but if they are already odd, then it just exxagerates that behavior!


I fear that my family is going to come to something like this when the inevitable time comes for my folks. I have some real pieces of work siblings as well. It seems every family has theirs! I bet my sibs think I am the bad one...hahahaha..if they only knew!

Prayers to you Bru, you are in my thought and heart...

susi

Oh just something I like to watch when I am feeling blue and depressed and out of sorts. He has a way of lifting my spirits and making things right even for just a moment... :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFabjc6m ... re=related

Be sure to click on *Watch in High Quality*

And this one always makes me forget EVERYTHING except dancing with him! ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjrWAMhxGOs

[February]

Well, last night at six while my poor husband was standing in line at the store with a cart full of frozen food, my mother calls and asks would he please drive them to the University hospital? Because dad was having 'problems.'

First thing I said was, "If he's bleeding, call an ambulance" there was no way we were going to be able to take him if it was that bad. But he was not bleeding though having obvious problems with his trach- husband hurried home, and within sixty minutes we had my dad at the front door of the U (not easy because there is massive road construction on my parent's street, and the drive itself takes 40 minutes on a good day...)

He is still there and will, apparently, be having his trach done for the THIRD time tomorrow morning. The morons who did it at the first hospital apparently did it wrong- TWICE.

Also he's having tests he should have had a month ago.

One of the hardest things I have ever done was leaving my parents at that hospital last night but my mom insisted we go- it was late, my husband had worked a long shift and driven way too much already (this is remember a month we've been running non stop with this stuff, the man is beyond exhausted) all I could do was thank my husband over and over for being willing to drive us there- otherwise I would have put my parents in a cab since I can't drive myself.

They're in the process of admitting him and doing tests but the surgery is scheduled for tomorrow. I can only imagine how horrified the doctors were when they saw the hack job these other people have done.

I also am willing to be they'll find that the pencil size space my father was swallowing food through three weeks ago is now gone- I bet the tumor is obstructing the whole throat and that is why he's started choking again in the past few days. I just can't fathom taht they have known 3 weeks he has this and not done a single thing to finish up testing and treatment at this other 'hospital'.

So now, I literally feel we have done everything we can do for the man. He's in the best hands possible- the hospital I would go to myself or take my mate or child to- and there is nothing more I can do.

I just hope that if it's as bad as I think it is, that they will be able to make him comfortable, and keep him comfortable, for the duration how ever long that is.

And you're right, I'm done dealing with Brother dearest. No sense in letting him vent his crap on me.

Hobie, you're right, the only 'babes' he can draw is online and that never lasts long. I'm sure when they find out his living arrangements they lose his IM number instantly.

Thanks again guys just being told again by sane people that my family is nuts helps immensely!

love to all
Bru

[Whazzup]

First thing I said was, "If he's bleeding, call an ambulance" there was no way we were going to be able to take him if it was that bad.

So now, I literally feel we have done everything we can do for the man. He's in the best hands possible- the hospital I would go to myself or take my mate or child to- and there is nothing more I can do.

I just hope that if it's as bad as I think it is, that they will be able to make him comfortable, and keep him comfortable, for the duration how ever long that is.

And you're right, I'm done dealing with Brother dearest. No sense in letting him vent his crap on me.

Thanks again guys just being told again by sane people that my family is nuts helps immensely!

love to all
Bru

Good for you for standing your ground without compromising your Dad's health (any more than it's already been compromised by his "medical care."

Yes, you absolutely have done the best you can and now it's up to the doctors to do the best they can, and if it's not good enough then God will take loving care of your father.

Whatever happens, I wish you peace and serenity in your life, dear Bru. You've been through the wringer. Don't let your family lay any more guilt on you, no matter what happens.

We're thinking of you and holding your hand. Hopefully you can feel all of us surrounding you with love and support.

[felinefan]

Good comeback, Bru. Sounds to me that you and your hubby are the ONLY adults in the family. Your husband deserves a medal, if not the Congressional Medal of Honor.

[Elena (aka: Bubble Lady)]

[font="Palatino Linotype"]my thoughts and good wishes are with you dearest bru...i know it's a very trying time for you, but you won't be sorry for the things you've been able to do for your dad even with all the b.s. you've had to take from the rest of your family...i think they're acting that way due to fear...and quite possibly guilt at having not done something sooner themselves, but that's just mho[/font]

[DisneyMom]

Bru, this might be a good chance to take the stance of "Let's let them do everything they can for you" to increase his comfort and explore all of the options. You can share your confidence with your family and have another chance to have the Medical Social Workers try to set up things with your FAMILY'S participation this time. Maybe going through everything a second time with a different set of doctors will convince them to cooperate better.
I'm hoping for more Peace and Comfort for you all.

[GaTechGal]

Bru, glad you got your Dad into the better hospital. In the end, you should have a better idea of what your Dad's condition is and what steps should be taken in his care. DisneyMom had good advice (as usual) about getting the family involved with the social services at the hospital. At least that way everyone will know what the options are. Continued prayers and good vibes coming your way.

[Mayonnaise]

You're having a real tough time of this whole thing it seems, and your siblings aren't helping things. So very sorry.

*More Hugs.*

8^(

[Princess Susi]

Bru, I am SO glad that you finally got him to the U. That is going to be the thing that eases your mind the most about his health. He is in the best place possible. And you can just let your sibs do whatever they do and ignore all theguilt tripping. You have a saint of a husband. You are so lucky to have found one another on this planet. You can draw your strength from each other, because you, my dear, are much stronger than most people! DisneyMom's idea of getting everyone on the same page with the new hospital and his condition is a good one.
I am glad that dad is at the U. That alone is the best thing that could happen for him.
Sending more and more hugs your way. I am praying for you and your dad!

Love,
Sues