Hey guys, I've missed you...

[Belgarion42]

Okay, everybody. Grab a drink, because this is going to be one of my long, going-off-on-something posts.

On the day of judgment, we will all have to answer for our lifetimes, and your sister will have to answer for this. From what you describe, she does not serve the same Jesus as me. Hers must not be a Jesus of love, because my Jesus would not wish anyone who leaves a certain church group to be dead unless they were truly evil. The only time I remember mine saying anything about suicide being the better option is referring to someone who harms a child... and I've wanted to start Millstone Ministries for years after a private school principal, in his "Christian duty", killed every ounce of joy in my brother by telling him, over a course of several meetings, that God hated him. To this day, because of what he said and did to my brother, and knowing he does it to this day to other children, because he is evil in Jesus' name, about once a month I come to think of him and desire his utter destruction. There is no patience in my mind for those who destroy others in the name of my God, or in the religions that are offshoots of mine... and I have friends who are former members of some of these religions, and they are more like cults. In one of them, in the most high tabernacle (I don't think it's their term for it, but it gets the idea across), there is a ritual they begin with, and the final step of this ritual is symbolism for "If you are caught giving away what happens in here, we will slit your throat." There's no church led by my Jesus that needs to keep that kind of secret. To have a ritual that makes that known to your priests is truly, truly evil.

Sorry, everyone, I didn't mean to go into a religious diatribe, but any religion that claims to follow Jesus, and then you can say what Bru did about their members, sets me off.

Extremely well-said, BW! And I am happy to say that you and I serve the very same One! People who treat others the way Bru was treated either don't serve (or even know) the Jesus of the Bible, or they have completely missed the point.

I am sorry that you were dealt with that way, Bru. Now I am praying for you *and* them (but for different reasons).

[Amphigorey]

Oh honey, I'm sorry you have to go through all of this.

Because I didn't have the correct 'proof' of wrongdoing by my spouse in their eyes, I was excommunicated- they use a different term for it but that's the basic premise. If I see any of the friends I grew up with as a child, they are not to speak to me. They are to pretend I am dead.

99 percent of my family has spent the last decade pretending I am dead.

That is psychological manipulation and abuse, not to mention just plain wrong. I find it amazing that people still do that kind of thing; it's barbaric.

I am not a perfect person, no one is and I never claimed to be, but I do try to do my best and help people out where I can, whether related to them or not. I am a sympathetic soul. I'm an INFJ (for those who follow Keirsey/Meyers Briggs), it's in me to be.

A rare type! Some of my favorite people are INFJs. :) I'm an INTJ. (For those who are going "Huh?" at all those letters, the short answer is that it's a self-selecting semi-scientific personality system. It's not perfect, but it gives insight into how people work. I think it's particularly useful to learn about other types, because it enables you to understand other people's perspectives, which fosters communication.)

Strength to you, February.

[BRWombat]

Wow, what a lot to take in. Wish I had more time to reply, but in a nutshell... bravo, Wallaby -- and everyone else posting -- hang in there, Bru, and... hey, I'm an INFJ, too! (But almost borderline on the I and F).

[DisneyMom]

WOW.
Your Family is very complicated, and all I can say is that any religion that insists that you stay in a situation that is unhealthy is mighty screwed up! I'm not "religious" exactly for that reason-long story-but, come on, if we can't do right by our children and loved ones, what is the point?
End of Rant.....
You are doing the right things, keep on, you and he have made it this far.
Have you asked the Social Worker about what options are in front of you at the end of the allowed time period? It sounds like this facility might be pretty decent, would he be able to stay with Medicare pending for payment? I would cite your Mother's refusal to assist in his care as worrisome and a possible detriment to his welfare. Of course not in front of your father, he says he loves her and I know even my Grandfather loved my Grandmother until the day he died, despite her severe mental illness and violence toward him.
You know, if your Mother had the relief of not having to provide the care, maybe she could act a little more caring. I'm not saying that I agree with her refusal, just that maybe things would settle down for everybody and there could be a time of peace.

[felinefan]

I'm an ISTJ, an uncommon type. My family doesn't understand this at all, especially my mom. It's my tendency to do things my way, or once I get started on something, it's next to impossible to stop, etc.. And mom complains the most about those two aspects! I've tried telling her that there are 16 different types of personality, but she doesn't want to hear it.

Yesterday I made spaghetti with pasta, an onion, some garlic cloves, and a jar of sauce. I browned the onion and garlic in a little oil, added it to the sauce, heated the sauce through, cooked the ground beef I forgot to list, since it was low-fat I didn't bother to drain it, then mixed the meat and sauce together, and finally boiled the pasta, adding the sauce after draining. Mom insisted that it was wrong--come on, mom, it's spaghetti! There's really no wrong way to make it! She drives me nuts sometimes!

[GaTechGal]

Bru, I'm glad that you found your dad in a reasonably good situation. Makes things easier for the time being. I agree with DisneyMom to talk with the Social workers and find out what all your options are so you can make an informed decision and help your dad through this.

And God knows what's in your heart. And regardless of church affiliation, HE loves you. And I think that your sister has forgotten
"Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’

And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’ "
Matthew 25:39-40

YOU are following the teachings of Jesus. We'll keep praying for you.

[Princess Susi]

I belive in karma. It is the great equalizer.
Please be good to yourself Bru. I am praying for you and the situation everyday.

Susi

[reendan]

I have been away so I am just now getting caught up reading posts. Bru I am so terribly sorry you are having to go through all of this. I know all about the crazy family dynamics and the religious aspects too. I wish there was something I could do other than send you my love and support through a computer screen, but I am sending it and I hope you feel it. Will add you to my prayer list as well. Hang in there and remember that you need to take care of yourself through all this too.

[February]

Thanks again, everyone for the continued love, prayers and support, I can truly feel it!!!

I didn't see Dad today-he wanted me to rest after I went to the University for my big eye appointment that I've been waiting two months for.

Well they poked and tested and all of that again and now the expert doc (she is amazing) says I will be her 'challenge'. She wants to consult with colleagues, maybe have me see another neurologist instead of the rheumatologist- and again, they will get back to me.

She said there is definitely something "syndromic" about all of my ailments (I thought of you, Syndrome! and I joked to my husband as we left "when everyone is Super, no one will be!) but she isn't sure which one yet.

At the very least I got a new prescription for my right eye (the one that still works some)- scary part is I was right, it has deteriorated a lot in the past two months :( But my new lenses should be ready tomorrow and should help a lot. They recommended I consult the Low Vision clinic too so looking into that for helpful aids to daily living.

But this afternoon something interesting happened- a dear friend of the family, an elderly lady I've known all my life called and she told me that all of the religious relatives have been trying to call my sister to get info on my dad and that she's not answering, I told her that my sister is hiding and about what my mom has done. So now, the word is out! The ministers are supposed to have called on my mom either today or will tomorrow to try to talk some sense into her (good luck with that) but the bottom line is that without us saying a word- news has spread that my husband and I, aka the family blacksheep (though he was never part of their religion at all!) are the ones looking out for Dad's interests.

Tomorrow Dad is supposed to have the PET scan- head to toe, and then I am thinking they might send him home.

I told him if he shows up at the house, (they would transport him in a van along with the necessary equipment he has to have on hand, even though he isn't currently using any of it) we will shop for him and make sure he has meals.

One step at a time...today we had to come home and rest my appointment was early and we were both exhausted (long drive) but tomorrow we should get to check in with Dad and hopefully, he'll be in his own bed soon. My mother can either deal with it, or she can move out.

Thanks again and will keep you all up to date as best I can. This place, and the people here are the best.

Susi, I believe in Karma too...I guess you'd have to call me Agnostic after all I've seen in my life, but I know that what goes around does come around, have seen it too many times!!!

Love hearing about people's Keirsey types too :) But of course I do, INFJ LOL

got to get to sleep. thanks again so much.

love to all
Bru

[hobie16]

Now you can give all of them a hearty...

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!