Welcome to Florida

[Zazu]

Being a trainer, I always seem to get placed at the station next to the new kid. It was her first day on her own, and she was ready for it. Good knowledge, unafraid of the computer, and a sincere friendliness. She belonged, but she was green.

A New Yorker came up to her. I could tell he was a New Yorker; he had the accent, he had the look, and he had the attitude.

Placing a Ten quietly on the counter, he bid her, "Get me a table for four at Chef Mickey's tonight."

She smiled the Disney smile, looked it up in good faith, and told him, "I'm sorry, but Chef Mickey's is sold out for the whole night."

The guest sighed, replaced the Ten with a Twenty, and said, "Get me a table anyway."

"Sir, we just don't have any tables left, and Chef Mickey's isn't taking walk-ins tonight."

The guest glared, added the Ten to the Twenty, and said, "Get me a friggin' table!"

The new kid was starting to sweat, so I stepped in. "Sir, have you seen the TV ads for Florida Vacations? The one that says, 'Welcome to Florida, the rules are different here'? Well, one of the things that's different is that when we say, 'There are no tables available,' it means, 'There are no tables available.' It's not a request for a larger tip."

"What the hell kind of crazy place is this a guy can't get a table for dinner?!?" he shouted.

"We call it Florida. Welcome. Can we help you find a table somewhere else?"

Apparently not. He stormed off while the new hire stepped back to recover from the shock. She's a shoe-in to win the prize for Best Question of the Month, and has a good head start on Best Question of the Year... but I got the attaboy from a GSM who almost lost it listening to my answer.

Life isn't exactly good, but it does have its moments.

[Epeyon]

That explains why everybody thinks they don't have to listen to cast members! They've seen those damn commercials.

[hobie16]

My brother was dating a lovely young lady from NYC. She came down with appendicitis. She was taken to Stanford. She called her dad back in NYC.

Dad, apparently, had never been west of the Hudson River. He called the doc who confirmed appendicitis and were going to operate.

Dad freaked out and hopped on a plane for the Left Coast. Never having heard of Stanford or its hospital, he was expecting a backwoods clinic where anesthesia consisted of a shot of whiskey and a bullet to bite on. He was dropped at the front door of the MASSIVE Stanford Medical Center and Medical School where it took almost an hour to find his daughter's room.

I stopped by about 8 PM and discovered dad had not arranged for a place to stay. I took him to the closest hotel where he was told no rooms were available. I stepped up to the desk and explained he had just gotten off a plane from NYC, he had no transportation, and his daughter was undergoing major surgery as we spoke (okay, so I lied a little). The desk clerk said he'd double check and, taa daaa, a room appeared.

I took dad back to Stanford after checking in. "Linda, you wouldn't believe what happened." he said to his daughter. "The hotel didn't have any rooms, Hobie talked to the clerk and got me a room, and he didn't give him a dime! I think I'm in a different country."

As we were in California, I think he was right.

[Whazzup]

Love those stories!

[Darksin]

Great Story Zazu!
I always feel bad for new people on the first day of training. You try and warn them but nothing can ever really prepare a person for those kinds of things, either because they've still got the stars in their eyes or it's just so outrageous they think your kidding.

[ktulu]

I was in Sao Paulo, we were trying to get into a bar. They said it was closed, however we had some people on the inside who said the opposite. I stood back as other argued and wondered who would try to bribe first. I narrowed it down to two choices, the guy from NYC or the guy from Colombia...

NYC just went off on the guy "This isn't F'N NEW YORK CITY!"

Colombia pulled out the bills...

Minutes later were in a taxi on our way to another bar...

[hobie16]

I was in Sao Paulo, we were trying to get into a bar.

Was it Kilts?

[ktulu]

Was it Kilts?

Sky Bar.

[Main Streeter]

we were trying to get into a bar.

ROFL!! Kman, all your stories begin like this. HA! ;)

[BRWombat]

I walked into a bar once. Had a knot on my forehead for a week.