Trying not to be a free DDP SG

[seeing_eye_child]

I've been lurking for....possibly slightly longer than 24 hours. That makes this my fastest de-lurking ever, totally due to the hilarious yet respectful nature of the boards here. :waves:

I shall start by offering up an SG confession. My family only ever went to WDW on vacation when I was growing up, so statistically speaking, we were going to have an SG moment at least once along the way. We'd always stake out our spots for parades/fireworks ridiculously early to get the best view. But there was problem with this strategy for Illuminations when I was still young and short enough that up in the "front row," the fence around the lagoon obscured my view.

As we were determined not to be whatever the 80's term for an SG was, I would obviously NOT be going up on my father's shoulders where I'd block the views of everyone behind us. Instead, my father plopped me down on the lagoon side of the fence. A CM quickly swooped in to instruct that I be returned to the proper side for safety reasons. Stupid, but not belligerent, we complied, but after the CM left, we wondered aloud what difference a few inches really could make for my safety. Well, we got an object lesson in just that. A few minutes into the show, a firework launched from the shoreline directly in front of us. :kaboom: Never again did we make this SG mistake!

Now I have a question. I don't have to read between the lines to gather the general opinion on Free Dining here. I'm going to WDW with Free Dining next year (pause for the shocked gasps of despair). I am unashamed of trying to make my trip as cheap as possible, but I WILL be ashamed if I become an SG. So I've got a list here of things I will and will not do/say.

I will absolutely:

1. Keep my children from treating the aisles/other guests' tables/other guests' ears like a playground/decibel meter. In fact, I can promise my children will be so quiet no one will know they're there. (cuz I don't have any)
2. Let the server know before ordering that I understand I will be paying for appetizers, alcohol, and tip.
3. Use my inside voice just like my 2nd grade teacher taught me. (She'd be so proud. Personally, I'm prouder of my teacher voice.)
4. Treat the server like a human being.
5. Make reservations as soon as allowed.
6. Make the exact same number of ADRs as I actually intend to show up for.
7. Tip 18% minimum.
8. Kick my dining companion under the table if he's being a smartass.

I will absolutely not be so uncouth as to:

1. Utter the phrase "but only if it's included in the plan."
2. Utter the sentence "I'm paying ____ so you have to _____ ."
3. Attempt to switch from one non-alcoholic beverage to another.
4. Attempt to order something which is not on the menu.
5. Attempt to order a highly abridged version of something that is on the menu. (Except maybe at Akershus, which I hate, but then I promise not to get mad when it takes a long time to come out.)
6. Attempt to share a meal to stretch the dining credits.
7. Show up with more people than for whom I made the ADR.
8. Hide Le Cellier's pretzel bread in my purse, then ask for more.
9. Put a Contemporary restaurant spoon in my purse, then abscond with it. Ok, ok, I confess, I did this once. But I was 3 months old at the time! (Yes, I still have it, 27 years later.)

So my question is: what am I missing?

(PS the name is what a lady at the Poly called me when I was 4 and on a child leash.)

[darph nader]

On behalf of the BDoSGT,,Welcome. Have a, :pepsi: :coke:
One question. How does a 3 month old snag a spoon? ;)

[DragonFox98]

Welcome, seeing eye child!!! (I love it when the CMs have that kind of humor!) :waves:

[seeing_eye_child]

One question. How does a 3 month old snag a spoon?

Hehe. Errrrrr.....I may also have been 1 or 2 yrs old. For some reason, my memories of those particular Disney trips are a tad...dim. So is my knowledge of early childhood motor skills development. (Although I know enough to be annoyed that Monster Inc's Boo can draw a fairly accurate picture of "Kitty," yet barely talks. Just sayin')

[Near Philly]

Hi Seeing Eye Child, the marsupials and the dragon should be along later. Until they get here, Safety First:

Please keep your arms and legs inside the ride vehicle (thread) at all times.
Your ride vehicle may experience a sudden change in direction.
If your ride vehicle changes direction, it may never go back to it's original course.
This is normal and is no cause for alarm.
Thank you for riding SGT and have a stupidity free day.


Fixed one of your statements.

I will absolutely:

1. Keep my children from treating the aisles like a playground. Unless they are in a Coconut Race

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Hi Seeing Eye Child, the marsupials and the dragon should be along later. Until they get here, Safety First:

Please keep your arms and legs inside the ride vehicle (thread) at all times.
Your ride vehicle may experience a sudden change in direction.
If your ride vehicle changes direction, it may never go back to it's original course.
This is normal and is no cause for alarm.
Thank you for riding SGT and have a stupidity free day.


Fixed one of your statements.

I though she didn't have any kids.

[Near Philly]

clipped that right out of her post upthread.

[seeing_eye_child]

1. Thanks for the warm and silly welcomes! :)

2.

I though she didn't have any kids.

Well, no I don't have kids, but I did make a comment about having kids so that I could say something silly. Because really, humor should trump truth every time.

3. The kids that I don't have will absolutely NOT be allowed to participate in something as loud, obnoxious, and obviously fun as the coconut race. Similarly, these non-existent kids will not be allowed to ride Dumbo, wait in lines longer than 10 minutes to see characters, ride small world more than twice in a row, see Playhouse Disney, or play in any of the play areas. If dessert weren't on the DDP, they couldn't have that either.

As a teacher, I understand that different children have different needs that must be accommodated in order to ensure that they get the best (substitute "vacation" for "education") possible. So if I ever do happen to have existent children, I will admit these rules might need some revision.

[Zazu]

Because really, humor should trump truth every time.

I like her! Can we keep her?

[Near Philly]

Are you going to teach her where to "go", and clean up her "accidents" ? :D: