The Lodging Feeders
Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 8:19 am
'Ello. I've been reading on this site for close to a year now and registered about a month ago and have never posted anything lol. I work in the Vacation Home industry that feeds off of SG so I feel like I should contribute since I meet these people first lol. I also want to share some of my all-time favorite SG. (It should also be known that my hubby is a maintenance man for the company too!) We also close on weekends, so a lot of things that are NOT emergencies are transferred to our phones.
- Water Temperatures -
Canadian Woman: Hi, I have a reservation with you and we'll be arriving in a week. Can you tell me the temperature of the Gulf of Mexico and the Atlantic?
Me: :: looks around :: Um, uh...
Canadian Woman: Well, you ARE a Floridian, aren't you?
Me: Yes, ma'am. Can you please hold? :: shuffles around, actually FINDS the stupid water temperature, gets back on the phone and tells her ::
Canadian Woman: And what about next week?
Me: I guess about the same? Maybe two or three degrees difference?
Canadian Woman: What's the water temperature of Disney's water parks? :: she hestitates - maybe even thinking how stupid this REALLY is :: Oh, nevermind, I'LL CALL DISNEY!
(sorry guys!)
- Light Bulbs -
Gentleman calls on a Saturday night who has just arrived in a home. Find an EMERGENCY which is transferred to my hubby.
Gentlemen: OH MY GOD! YOU MUST COME OUT RIGHT NOW! WE HAVE NO LIGHTS IN ANY OF THE BEDROOMS!
Husband: Oh, so the bulbs are blown? How did you come to find this out? (Husband has just checked every bulb in the house)
Gentlemen: WE HAVE TRIED HITTING THE SWITCHES AND ALL OF THE BULBS ARE BLOWN! YOU MUST COME IMMEDIATELY!
Husband: Sir, walk over to the lamp and underneath there's a little black switch. Can you turn that and see what happens?
Gentlemen: ::Walks over and turns it - BAM WE HAVE LIGHT! :: Oh, thank you so much!
Husband: No problem, sir. Enjoy your stay.
- Isn't This Supposed to be Florida? -
It's a Monday morning, and as usual, I'm swamped with work orders and phone calls. It's mid January, and yes, we get cold down here! Last year, It SNOWED in Downtown Orlando. Well, flurries but it counts!
Irate Woman: I need to speak to someone about getting a refund!
Me: Well, I can help you with that. What's the problem?
Irate Woman: It is COLD. It has BEEN COLD for the past week.
Me: Ok...?
Irate Woman: Well, this is NOT what I paid for! This is FLORIDA! It is advertised as being able to go the BEACH on Christmas! I could have stayed at home for cold weather!
Me: Well, I'm sorry that you feel that way ma'am. But unfortuantely, we cannot control the weather and it is outlined in the contract that you signed that we are not responsible for inclement weather and there are no refunds. (Isn't that sad that we have to do that?)
Irate Woman: THAT'S FALSE ADVERTISING!
- Fresh Water -
My husband and the other maintenance man go around and do pools each and every week. It seems with every guest that the minute they step into the house they are magically transformed into Pool Techs that can diagnose a problem by sound... They are at a house and an Indian Gentlemen walks out to have a chat...
Indian Guy: Oh! So you guys come to drain the pool?
Husband: :: confused :: Well, no we're vacuuming it and adding the chemicals.
Indian Guy: No, you have to drain the pool so I have fresh water, right?
Husband: Well, there's a filter that freshens the water. We don't drain pools though...
Indian Guy: UNACCEPTABLE! I MUST have fresh water EVERYDAY!
Husband: Well, If you have $4,000 for the water bill, no problem...
And I have 100 more...
- Water Temperatures -
Canadian Woman: Hi, I have a reservation with you and we'll be arriving in a week. Can you tell me the temperature of the Gulf of Mexico and the Atlantic?
Me: :: looks around :: Um, uh...
Canadian Woman: Well, you ARE a Floridian, aren't you?
Me: Yes, ma'am. Can you please hold? :: shuffles around, actually FINDS the stupid water temperature, gets back on the phone and tells her ::
Canadian Woman: And what about next week?
Me: I guess about the same? Maybe two or three degrees difference?
Canadian Woman: What's the water temperature of Disney's water parks? :: she hestitates - maybe even thinking how stupid this REALLY is :: Oh, nevermind, I'LL CALL DISNEY!
(sorry guys!)
- Light Bulbs -
Gentleman calls on a Saturday night who has just arrived in a home. Find an EMERGENCY which is transferred to my hubby.
Gentlemen: OH MY GOD! YOU MUST COME OUT RIGHT NOW! WE HAVE NO LIGHTS IN ANY OF THE BEDROOMS!
Husband: Oh, so the bulbs are blown? How did you come to find this out? (Husband has just checked every bulb in the house)
Gentlemen: WE HAVE TRIED HITTING THE SWITCHES AND ALL OF THE BULBS ARE BLOWN! YOU MUST COME IMMEDIATELY!
Husband: Sir, walk over to the lamp and underneath there's a little black switch. Can you turn that and see what happens?
Gentlemen: ::Walks over and turns it - BAM WE HAVE LIGHT! :: Oh, thank you so much!
Husband: No problem, sir. Enjoy your stay.
- Isn't This Supposed to be Florida? -
It's a Monday morning, and as usual, I'm swamped with work orders and phone calls. It's mid January, and yes, we get cold down here! Last year, It SNOWED in Downtown Orlando. Well, flurries but it counts!
Irate Woman: I need to speak to someone about getting a refund!
Me: Well, I can help you with that. What's the problem?
Irate Woman: It is COLD. It has BEEN COLD for the past week.
Me: Ok...?
Irate Woman: Well, this is NOT what I paid for! This is FLORIDA! It is advertised as being able to go the BEACH on Christmas! I could have stayed at home for cold weather!
Me: Well, I'm sorry that you feel that way ma'am. But unfortuantely, we cannot control the weather and it is outlined in the contract that you signed that we are not responsible for inclement weather and there are no refunds. (Isn't that sad that we have to do that?)
Irate Woman: THAT'S FALSE ADVERTISING!
- Fresh Water -
My husband and the other maintenance man go around and do pools each and every week. It seems with every guest that the minute they step into the house they are magically transformed into Pool Techs that can diagnose a problem by sound... They are at a house and an Indian Gentlemen walks out to have a chat...
Indian Guy: Oh! So you guys come to drain the pool?
Husband: :: confused :: Well, no we're vacuuming it and adding the chemicals.
Indian Guy: No, you have to drain the pool so I have fresh water, right?
Husband: Well, there's a filter that freshens the water. We don't drain pools though...
Indian Guy: UNACCEPTABLE! I MUST have fresh water EVERYDAY!
Husband: Well, If you have $4,000 for the water bill, no problem...
And I have 100 more...
Since when is only having 1 car airing your dirty laundry.? I pretty much told her verbatim--You do realize, not everyone has more then 1 car, right? "well yeah, I guess" 
from :wallaby: and 
!!! :D: :D: :D: