The Lodging Feeders

[ForJustADollarMore]

'Ello. I've been reading on this site for close to a year now and registered about a month ago and have never posted anything lol. I work in the Vacation Home industry that feeds off of SG so I feel like I should contribute since I meet these people first lol. I also want to share some of my all-time favorite SG. (It should also be known that my hubby is a maintenance man for the company too!) We also close on weekends, so a lot of things that are NOT emergencies are transferred to our phones.


- Water Temperatures -

Canadian Woman: Hi, I have a reservation with you and we'll be arriving in a week. Can you tell me the temperature of the Gulf of Mexico and the Atlantic?

Me: :: looks around :: Um, uh...

Canadian Woman: Well, you ARE a Floridian, aren't you?

Me: Yes, ma'am. Can you please hold? :: shuffles around, actually FINDS the stupid water temperature, gets back on the phone and tells her ::

Canadian Woman: And what about next week?

Me: I guess about the same? Maybe two or three degrees difference?

Canadian Woman: What's the water temperature of Disney's water parks? :: she hestitates - maybe even thinking how stupid this REALLY is :: Oh, nevermind, I'LL CALL DISNEY!

(sorry guys!)


- Light Bulbs -

Gentleman calls on a Saturday night who has just arrived in a home. Find an EMERGENCY which is transferred to my hubby.

Gentlemen: OH MY GOD! YOU MUST COME OUT RIGHT NOW! WE HAVE NO LIGHTS IN ANY OF THE BEDROOMS!

Husband: Oh, so the bulbs are blown? How did you come to find this out? (Husband has just checked every bulb in the house)

Gentlemen: WE HAVE TRIED HITTING THE SWITCHES AND ALL OF THE BULBS ARE BLOWN! YOU MUST COME IMMEDIATELY!

Husband: Sir, walk over to the lamp and underneath there's a little black switch. Can you turn that and see what happens?

Gentlemen: ::Walks over and turns it - BAM WE HAVE LIGHT! :: Oh, thank you so much!

Husband: No problem, sir. Enjoy your stay.

- Isn't This Supposed to be Florida? -

It's a Monday morning, and as usual, I'm swamped with work orders and phone calls. It's mid January, and yes, we get cold down here! Last year, It SNOWED in Downtown Orlando. Well, flurries but it counts!

Irate Woman: I need to speak to someone about getting a refund!

Me: Well, I can help you with that. What's the problem?

Irate Woman: It is COLD. It has BEEN COLD for the past week.

Me: Ok...?

Irate Woman: Well, this is NOT what I paid for! This is FLORIDA! It is advertised as being able to go the BEACH on Christmas! I could have stayed at home for cold weather!

Me: Well, I'm sorry that you feel that way ma'am. But unfortuantely, we cannot control the weather and it is outlined in the contract that you signed that we are not responsible for inclement weather and there are no refunds. (Isn't that sad that we have to do that?)

Irate Woman: THAT'S FALSE ADVERTISING!

- Fresh Water -

My husband and the other maintenance man go around and do pools each and every week. It seems with every guest that the minute they step into the house they are magically transformed into Pool Techs that can diagnose a problem by sound... They are at a house and an Indian Gentlemen walks out to have a chat...

Indian Guy: Oh! So you guys come to drain the pool?

Husband: :: confused :: Well, no we're vacuuming it and adding the chemicals.

Indian Guy: No, you have to drain the pool so I have fresh water, right?

Husband: Well, there's a filter that freshens the water. We don't drain pools though...

Indian Guy: UNACCEPTABLE! I MUST have fresh water EVERYDAY!

Husband: Well, If you have $4,000 for the water bill, no problem...


And I have 100 more...

[glendalais]

- Water Temperatures -

Canadian Woman: Hi, I have a reservation with you and we'll be arriving in a week. Can you tell me the temperature of the Gulf of Mexico and the Atlantic?

Me: :: looks around :: Um, uh...

Canadian Woman: Well, you ARE a Floridian, aren't you?

Me: Yes, ma'am. Can you please hold? :: shuffles around, actually FINDS the stupid water temperature, gets back on the phone and tells her ::

Canadian Woman: And what about next week?

Me: I guess about the same? Maybe two or three degrees difference?

Canadian Woman: What's the water temperature of Disney's water parks? :: she hestitates - maybe even thinking how stupid this REALLY is :: Oh, nevermind, I'LL CALL DISNEY!

(sorry guys!)

As a Canadian-American, let me just take this opportunity to apologize on behalf of my fellow countrywoman. I assure you, we're not all SGs (nor are we all obsessed with water temperature), lol.

On a side note, welcome to SGT! May your time here be happy and prosperus :)



(Sorry if it's cheesy lol, it's 6:00 a.m. in the morning, and I'm groggy :o :)

I'm sure the Marsupials will be by shortly to give you the "official" greeting, lol.

[vixen101485]

Welcome to the Site Doll (short for Dollar...hehehe) The marsupial welcoming committee will be along soon. Dont worry they are harmless :D:

Thank you for posting that this morning I needed a laugh. On the other side of the coin, my landlords are coming today to check the furnace (routine/required every 3 years) and smoke detectors, and jacuzzi tub. This a new thing with them. Young couple. The guy is very laid back and said it will only take about 7 minutes, buuuuttttttt, the wife HAS to come along. (read as...nosey) She is one of those who just MUST have expensive furniture, cars, everything in the house perfectly decorated, etc.

They were supposed to come yesterday but got a call on Monday from her, "he cant come without me" HUH? "I have to work" OK???? but if he is only checking the furnace, etc???? "well I didnt want to air my dirty laundry but we only have one car" WTF? Since when is only having 1 car airing your dirty laundry.? I pretty much told her verbatim--You do realize, not everyone has more then 1 car, right? "well yeah, I guess"
I just hope they dont plan on bringing their VERY active almost 3 year old...my house is not baby proofed anymore. It is a maitenence inspection, not a family outing. SIGH...
Sorry to hijack your thread, thot you would appreciate the humor from the other side. :D:
OMG, save me. The sooner I move to Florida the better.

MOre stories, more stories.

[DisneyMom]

Welcome to the Site Doll (short for Dollar...hehehe) The marsupial welcoming committee will be along soon. Dont worry they are harmless :D:

Thank you for posting that this morning I needed a laugh. On the other side of the coin, my landlords are coming today to check the furnace (routine/required every 3 years) and smoke detectors, and jacuzzi tub. This a new thing with them. Young couple. The guy is very laid back and said it will only take about 7 minutes, buuuuttttttt, the wife HAS to come along. (read as...nosey) She is one of those who just MUST have expensive furniture, cars, everything in the house perfectly decorated, etc.

They were supposed to come yesterday but got a call on Monday from her, "he cant come without me" HUH? "I have to work" OK???? but if he is only checking the furnace, etc???? "well I didnt want to air my dirty laundry but we only have one car" WTF? Since when is only having 1 car airing your dirty laundry.? I pretty much told her verbatim--You do realize, not everyone has more then 1 car, right? "well yeah, I guess"
I just hope they dont plan on bringing their VERY active almost 3 year old...my house is not baby proofed anymore. It is a maitenence inspection, not a family outing. SIGH...
Sorry to hijack your thread, thot you would appreciate the humor from the other side. :D:
OMG, save me. The sooner I move to Florida the better.

MOre stories, more stories.

Sounds like your landlord's wife is a psycho- Can you have a friend with a large Rottweiler visit while she's there? :twisted:

[vixen101485]

Sounds like your landlord's wife is a psycho- Can you have a friend with a large Rottweiler visit while she's there? :twisted:

NOt nuts just spoiled. I actually like her, but the airing the dirty laundry phrase just made me go HUH? Actually, I think their truck got repossed is why she was weird about it. I got a letter for them in January from a collection/car dealership. I didnt bother forwarding cause I figure after 2 years if you havent told your debtors where you moved to, NOT MY PROBLEM. Besides I can never remember their addy to write on the letter to forward.

I literally said to her, "all you had to do was say,--We only have one car right now and I have to use it for work so we need to reschedule, you were all mysterious about it" OK, I am outspoken and almost old enuf to be her mom. I got age on my side...lol
They wanted to come on Monday night at like 10PM...no! Donnie wanted to be here. Besides the house wasnt all clean yet...lol Speaking of, I need to go sweep and mop the kitchen floor. See ya all this afternoon.

MORE SG tenant stories Doll. I am gonna need them later. LOL

[ForJustADollarMore]

Welcome to the Site Doll (short for Dollar...hehehe) The marsupial welcoming committee will be along soon. Dont worry they are harmless :D:

Thank you for posting that this morning I needed a laugh. On the other side of the coin, my landlords are coming today to check the furnace (routine/required every 3 years) and smoke detectors, and jacuzzi tub. This a new thing with them. Young couple. The guy is very laid back and said it will only take about 7 minutes, buuuuttttttt, the wife HAS to come along. (read as...nosey) She is one of those who just MUST have expensive furniture, cars, everything in the house perfectly decorated, etc.

They were supposed to come yesterday but got a call on Monday from her, "he cant come without me" HUH? "I have to work" OK???? but if he is only checking the furnace, etc???? "well I didnt want to air my dirty laundry but we only have one car" WTF? Since when is only having 1 car airing your dirty laundry.? I pretty much told her verbatim--You do realize, not everyone has more then 1 car, right? "well yeah, I guess"
I just hope they dont plan on bringing their VERY active almost 3 year old...my house is not baby proofed anymore. It is a maitenence inspection, not a family outing. SIGH...
Sorry to hijack your thread, thot you would appreciate the humor from the other side. :D:
OMG, save me. The sooner I move to Florida the better.

MOre stories, more stories.

Thank you for the warm welcome everyone :) There are some crazies out there!

I have a snowbird here now who is a royal pain. He proceeded to tell my husband, myself, the other maintenance guy and about anyone who will listen that he, folks, has a UTI and it is unacceptable to have anything but HOT WATER for hours at a time. Now, if you know how 90% of UTI's are caused THIS IS NOT SOMETHING YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW! Why people feel the need to share this info with me is beyond me...

As for owning one car and it being her "dirty laundry" well, at least we know she's not a closeted deviant preying upon unbleached surfaces and mismatched patterns lol. I share a car with my husband - I don't look at it as being too poor for two gas bills, I look at it as doing my part to stop globabl warming! lol

[vixen101485]

LOL...I told Donnie (my other half) you are the kind of landlord we like. No need for you to know our personal business and I certainly dont want to know yours other then if you cant make an appt. LOL

So in the summer of 2010 save a place for us for long term renting K? LOL

[BRWombat]

'Ello. I've been reading on this site for close to a year now and registered about a month ago and have never posted anything lol. I work in the Vacation Home industry that feeds off of SG so I feel like I should contribute since I meet these people first lol. ...

And I have 100 more...

Bring 'em on!! These stories are awesome!!! :D:

to from :wallaby: and !!! :D: :D: :D:

Welcome to the Site Doll (short for Dollar...hehehe) The marsupial welcoming committee will be along soon. Dont worry they are harmless :D: ...

Mostly harmless.

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Yes, welcome!!! good stories!!

You and your husband should have dressed up in either chain mail with swords, pirate outfits, or leather outfits when they came over!!! Betcha the "inspection" would last a lot less than 7 minutes.

hehehehe

[vixen101485]

Yes, welcome!!! good stories!!

You and your husband should have dressed up in either chain mail with swords, pirate outfits, or leather outfits when they came over!!! Betcha the "inspection" would last a lot less than 7 minutes.

hehehehe

They might like it too much....SNORT!