SG's in Canada

[BRWombat]

Not from me, but found on GCFL.net:

[INDENT]All Time Dumbest Questions Asked By Banff Park Tourists

Yes, they're ALL TRUE as heard at the information kiosks
manned by Parks Canada staff!

1. How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk
Crossing" signs?

2. At what elevation does an elk become a moose?

3. Tourist: "How do you pronounce 'Elk'?"
Park Information Staff: "'Elk.'"
Tourist: "Oh."

4. Are the bears with collars tame?

5. Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?

6. Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic
table, or should I store it in my tent?

7. Where can I find Alpine Flamingos?

8. I saw an animal on the way to Banff today -- could you
tell me what it was?

9. Are there birds in Canada?

10. Did I miss the turnoff for Canada?

11. Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?

12. Do you have a map of the State of Jasper?

13. Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is
that Saskatchewan?

14. If I go to B.C., do I have to go through Ontario?

15. Which is the way to the Columbia Rice fields?

16. How far is Banff from Canada?

17. What's the best way to see Canada in a day?

18. Do they search you at the B.C. border?

19. When we enter B.C., do we have to convert our money to
British pounds?

20. Where can I buy a raccoon hat? ALL Canadians own one,
don't they?

21. Are there phones in Banff?

22. So it's eight kilometers away... is that in miles?

23. We're on the decibel system, you know.

24. Where can I get my husband really, REALLY, lost??

25. Is that two kilometers by foot or by car?

26. Don't you Canadians know anything?

27. Where do you put the animals at night?

28. Tourist: "How do you get your lakes so blue?"
Park staff: "We take the water out in the winter and paint
the bottom."
Tourist: "Oh!"[/INDENT]

[darph nader]

I LOVE # 24. :D:
There's a few people I know.

[BRWombat]

I LOVE # 24. :D:
There's a few people I know.

I deliberately have not shown my wife that one. :D:

So... how do the elk know to cross at the signs??? ;)

[Main Streeter]

I LOVE # 24. :D:

Of course YOU love #24! This is what you hear from The Baker everyday. :D: :p:

[darph nader]

Of course YOU love #24! This is what you hear from The Baker everyday. :D: :p:

(beware the ides of Oct.)

[sean1966]

Since I am so near Niagara Falls I hear a few.

"What time do they shut the Falls off at night?"

While standing on the Canadian side I was once asked "How far is it to Canada?"

A British tourist once asked a concierge at a hotel I was working at if they could make arrangements for them to get a car so they could drive to British Columbia for the weekend.

[Big Wallaby]

A British tourist once asked a concierge at a hotel I was working at if they could make arrangements for them to get a car so they could drive to British Columbia for the weekend.

While that is really funny, with Europeans, you have to keep in mind that what in Europe is an entire nation, in the US would be one state. So they look at a map of Canada, they see that they're only seven provinces away, and decide it's a great weekend trip...never mind that it would take the entire weekend plus a day and a half for them to drive to BC (which is a beautiful plalce to visit, especially Vancouver Island). My sixth grade teacher had some friends from Ireland who were in South Carolina, thought they would drive to Oregon to visit her for a day or so, then head on back. When she asked them how many kilometers it was, that's when they caught on that Oregon is in no way close to South Carolina.

[BRWombat]

While that is really funny, with Europeans, you have to keep in mind that what in Europe is an entire nation, in the US would be one state. So they look at a map of Canada, they see that they're only seven provinces away, and decide it's a great weekend trip...never mind that it would take the entire weekend plus a day and a half for them to drive to BC (which is a beautiful plalce to visit, especially Vancouver Island). My sixth grade teacher had some friends from Ireland who were in South Carolina, thought they would drive to Oregon to visit her for a day or so, then head on back. When she asked them how many kilometers it was, that's when they caught on that Oregon is in no way close to South Carolina.

A guy I met in BC some years ago was complaining about people's ignorance, giving as an example when one guy found out he was from Canada, he asked, "Oh, do you know so-and-so in Toronto?" Like the whole country was a street where you know everyone.

[hobie16]

I was sitting in a bar in Greece and chatting up some locals. When they found out I was from California (at the time) one guy exclaimed, "My brother lives in Burlingame. Do you know him?"

[darph nader]

I was sitting in a bar in Greece and chatting up some locals. When they found out I was from California (at the time) one guy exclaimed, "My brother lives in Burlingame. Do you know him?"

I know what you mean.Years ago,One the local DJs commented he was going someplace back east for his vacation. This listener,a stoner,called and asked him,"If you see Brent,could you ask him to bring back the couch?" This is no shit,the DJ was like WTF?