Guidelines for Guests...
Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 3:17 pm
Here is a partial list, perhaps to be compiled later, of the things guests should know before entering the gates of any theme park, but especially Disneyland...
1) Disneyland employs about 20,000 people. The guy taking your ticket while about 100 people are in line behind you waiting to enter the park is probably the worst person to ask fifty questions about what the show times are and what rides you should go on.
2) Narrow corridors and walkways are not the best places to stop your stroller to make sure your brats are strapped in tighter than a psych ward patient.
3) Diaper changes are best done in restrooms. The worst place to do them is in queues.
3a) Dirty diapers are best disposed of in restrooms. The worst place to dispose of them is a ride vehicle.
4) Cast members don't care how long you have travelled to visit just one attraction in the park.
4a) Nor do they believe you when you claim that said attraction is the only reason you travelled said distance, especially when you show up to said attraction three minutes after park closing.
4b) Nor do they give a damn even if you did travel all that distance for just one attraction.
4c) And if you believe travelling long distances really makes broken rides any less broken, then the next time you have a plumbing problem at home, instead of calling a plumber, you should call an airline pilot.
5) Just because theme parks are worlds of fantasy does not mean we have really figured out a way to keep the real world from creeping in once in a while.
6) Trust the cast members. Their information is typically a lot more up to date than yours and they've likely seen a hell of a lot more at the park than you have, even if you are an AP.
7) Screaming at cast members might get you what you want eventually, but it's going to take a hell of a lot longer for them to get around to it.
8) Safety rules are there for a reason, and sometimes it takes a couple of days of training to understand the reason sufficiently, so questioning cast members informing you of safety rules is not a good idea.
8a) Even if you don't care about your own safety -- and frankly the cast members would like to see you lose an appendage just to teach you a lesson -- the safety rules are also in place to make sure your stupidity doesn't harm other guests.
9) When the door is locked and the lights are off, the place is closed.
10) Remember you're on vacation. Don't stress yourself out over unimportant things.
11) Unless the words "life-threatening" are somehow involved, your needs do not trump the needs of other guests.
12) The cast is really good at catching cheaters. Be warned.
13) Saving spots for a couple of people using the potty is fine. Saving spots for five people riding Big Thunder Mountain is not.
14) When a cast member directs you to the nearest smoking area, that doesn't mean to take three more puffs before going there.
15) Don't take your frustrations out on cast members who did nothing to cause your frustration.
1) Disneyland employs about 20,000 people. The guy taking your ticket while about 100 people are in line behind you waiting to enter the park is probably the worst person to ask fifty questions about what the show times are and what rides you should go on.
2) Narrow corridors and walkways are not the best places to stop your stroller to make sure your brats are strapped in tighter than a psych ward patient.
3) Diaper changes are best done in restrooms. The worst place to do them is in queues.
3a) Dirty diapers are best disposed of in restrooms. The worst place to dispose of them is a ride vehicle.
4) Cast members don't care how long you have travelled to visit just one attraction in the park.
4a) Nor do they believe you when you claim that said attraction is the only reason you travelled said distance, especially when you show up to said attraction three minutes after park closing.
4b) Nor do they give a damn even if you did travel all that distance for just one attraction.
4c) And if you believe travelling long distances really makes broken rides any less broken, then the next time you have a plumbing problem at home, instead of calling a plumber, you should call an airline pilot.
5) Just because theme parks are worlds of fantasy does not mean we have really figured out a way to keep the real world from creeping in once in a while.
6) Trust the cast members. Their information is typically a lot more up to date than yours and they've likely seen a hell of a lot more at the park than you have, even if you are an AP.
7) Screaming at cast members might get you what you want eventually, but it's going to take a hell of a lot longer for them to get around to it.
8) Safety rules are there for a reason, and sometimes it takes a couple of days of training to understand the reason sufficiently, so questioning cast members informing you of safety rules is not a good idea.
8a) Even if you don't care about your own safety -- and frankly the cast members would like to see you lose an appendage just to teach you a lesson -- the safety rules are also in place to make sure your stupidity doesn't harm other guests.
9) When the door is locked and the lights are off, the place is closed.
10) Remember you're on vacation. Don't stress yourself out over unimportant things.
11) Unless the words "life-threatening" are somehow involved, your needs do not trump the needs of other guests.
12) The cast is really good at catching cheaters. Be warned.
13) Saving spots for a couple of people using the potty is fine. Saving spots for five people riding Big Thunder Mountain is not.
14) When a cast member directs you to the nearest smoking area, that doesn't mean to take three more puffs before going there.
15) Don't take your frustrations out on cast members who did nothing to cause your frustration.
