Guidelines for Guests...

[PirateJohn]

Here is a partial list, perhaps to be compiled later, of the things guests should know before entering the gates of any theme park, but especially Disneyland...

1) Disneyland employs about 20,000 people. The guy taking your ticket while about 100 people are in line behind you waiting to enter the park is probably the worst person to ask fifty questions about what the show times are and what rides you should go on.

2) Narrow corridors and walkways are not the best places to stop your stroller to make sure your brats are strapped in tighter than a psych ward patient.

3) Diaper changes are best done in restrooms. The worst place to do them is in queues.

3a) Dirty diapers are best disposed of in restrooms. The worst place to dispose of them is a ride vehicle.

4) Cast members don't care how long you have travelled to visit just one attraction in the park.

4a) Nor do they believe you when you claim that said attraction is the only reason you travelled said distance, especially when you show up to said attraction three minutes after park closing.

4b) Nor do they give a damn even if you did travel all that distance for just one attraction.

4c) And if you believe travelling long distances really makes broken rides any less broken, then the next time you have a plumbing problem at home, instead of calling a plumber, you should call an airline pilot.

5) Just because theme parks are worlds of fantasy does not mean we have really figured out a way to keep the real world from creeping in once in a while.

6) Trust the cast members. Their information is typically a lot more up to date than yours and they've likely seen a hell of a lot more at the park than you have, even if you are an AP.

7) Screaming at cast members might get you what you want eventually, but it's going to take a hell of a lot longer for them to get around to it.

8) Safety rules are there for a reason, and sometimes it takes a couple of days of training to understand the reason sufficiently, so questioning cast members informing you of safety rules is not a good idea.

8a) Even if you don't care about your own safety -- and frankly the cast members would like to see you lose an appendage just to teach you a lesson -- the safety rules are also in place to make sure your stupidity doesn't harm other guests.

9) When the door is locked and the lights are off, the place is closed.

10) Remember you're on vacation. Don't stress yourself out over unimportant things.

11) Unless the words "life-threatening" are somehow involved, your needs do not trump the needs of other guests.

12) The cast is really good at catching cheaters. Be warned.

13) Saving spots for a couple of people using the potty is fine. Saving spots for five people riding Big Thunder Mountain is not.

14) When a cast member directs you to the nearest smoking area, that doesn't mean to take three more puffs before going there.

15) Don't take your frustrations out on cast members who did nothing to cause your frustration.

[joanna71985]

Those are great! :)

[darph nader]

GEEE sounds like 'common sense" to me,but wtf do i know? I drive for a living and" common sense" does not apply there either. ALOT of people are becoming MiF MiFs( me first motherf**ker). Civility is no longer in some peoples vocabulary. :(

[KatzOhki]

These are great even though they should be common sense. My favorites are
13, then 15, then 8a.
( :

[DLRFantasmic!Dan]

I got this from a friend's Myspace:

Rules For Riding Space Mountain
1. do not ask for the front row
2. do not use the storage pouches in front of you
3. do not run twoards moving rockets
4. fat ppl should put away the turkey legs
5. both legs must be under one lap bar
6. do not weigh down our rockets
7. do not wave to the cast memeber in tower
8. no screaming allowed.
9. do not ask to ride again.
10. Space Mtn. fast passes are not to be used early.
11. Space Mtn. is a roller coaster not a game.
12. tell the castmemebers how many in your party not who you are riding with
13. pull up on the lap bars dont raise your hands
14. to not shove fastpasses in our face.
15. during a down time dont ask us how long were going to be down for we dont know
16. do not ask to go into the blue room
17. dont ask us if the line is really ### long.
18. your admission ticket is not a fast pass.
19. birthdays do not get to cut in line so they dont have to wait just because its your birthday.
20. do not leave trash on our unload dock.
21. old ppl should not ride space.
22. hurry your fat ass up when loading the rocket
23. if your fat and ask us if your can fit in the rocket we be honost and give you a truthfull answer.
24. fast pass go first before stand by.
25. fast passes can not and will not be used early.
26. the blue tickets are used to get a fast pass, and are fast passes alone
27. If you paid 50$ to come into disneyland just to ride space mountain you got fucking riped off
28. lapbars go over the legs and are not to be sat on.
29. there is no lap sitting'
30. no more than two ppl per row.
31. the blue tickets are used to get a fast pass and are not fast passes alone.
32. do not use the stoarage pouches
33. remember to grab your stuff when exiting.
34. have your stuff ready to exit before the rockets stops in the station
35. do not force your bags in the puches when your stuff does not easyly fit such as backpacks and purses.
36. when at bars and we say pull up your bars we mean pull up on your bars. dont raise your hands, push the bars down further, or just sit there and sare at us "PULL UP ON YOUR FUCKING LAPBAR!!!!!"
37. if you have a party bigger than 12 ppl your party is going to be split up rockets can only carry 12 ppl per rocket.
38. do not read the warning signs then ask us if this ride is like it says on the warnign sign.



failer to follow the rules of space mountain will result in failer to ride.


Autopia 7 Commandments
1. Thou shall not bump the car in front of you
2. Thou shall keep seat belt fastened.
3. Thou shall be no lap sitting
4. Thou shall keep one car lenght between you and the car infront of you
5. Thou shall exit car on passenger side only
6. Thou shall not stop your car in the middle of the track
7. Thou shall not let asains drive autopia cars

[shorty1219]

16. Do not try to hide a lit cigarette in the palm of your hand. I will wait long enough looking at you to either catch you smoking in a non smoking area, or long enough so that the cig burns itself off in your hand...wasting your cig.

17. When I tell you that you are not in a smoking section, do not tell me "Oh, I didn't know." That's why you were trying to palm it off, right?

18. Don't get angry with me that we have smoking sections. If it were up to me, I would ban it from the park...so you're lucky.

[BirdMom]

19) Do not berate Cast Members over the prices of anything, including admission, souvinirs and food. We have no control over the prices. And by the way, the people who make the pricing decisions make about 200 times our salaries, so we couldn't afford Disneyland if we didn't work there.

20) It is YOUR job to watch your curious toddler - not the Cast Members job. It gets old having to do e-stops because your toddler climbed into the boat ahead of the one you were supposed to board. Didn't notice? Oh yeah, you were too busy chatting up that hottie you just met in line. Eyes on your kid please.

[dazyhill]

21. Always have your Driver's License or ID on you at all times. You will need it for verifying the credit card you are paying with is yours and in the worst-case scenario, it will tell us who you are if you are unable to do so. (i.e. passed out)

22. Do not berate the CM or employee if we do not accept your credit card for payment because you do not have your ID. It is for your protection that we ask. If you write "See ID" on your card or leave it blank, be prepared to show your ID!

23. If you pick up an object in a store and later decide against it, please hand it to the nearest store clerk. DO NOT JUST DROP THE ITEM ANYWHERE IN THE STORE!

24. If you or your kid(s) break something, let us know. SET A GOOD EXAMPLE BY BEING RESPONSIBLE. Most of us have broken things from time to time. You'll find that in most cases, we are pretty understanding!

[IRSmart1]

25. You do not run the park, cast members do. So when they ask/tell you to do something due to safety or some other guidelines, DO IT! They aren't saying it just to pass the time by.

26. Not everyone who comes here can possibly get a close parking spot. So don't ask why you have to park a little further away.

27. If you truly broke your ankle/back/leg yesterday and want to park closer, what in the world are you doing at a theme park with such an injury?? These reasons get very old after awhile especially when you get out of the car and are walking with no problem whatsoever.

28. Children cannot ride in strollers on the trams regardless if they are sleeping or not. It is a safety issue and yelling at cast members because of it doesn't change anything.

29. And for crying out loud remember where you parked your car. It's not my fault you didn't pay any attention to your surroundings. :mad:

[SoarWhoreCoCo]

30. Don't come up every 5 minutes and ask if the ride is fixed yet. When it's fixed there wont be several cast members standing around telling everyone the ride is temporarily closed for technical reasons.

31. Standing by the entrance of a broken attraction wont get it fixed faster...enjoy something else. We really dont want you standing in front of us for a hour violating rule #31!

32. No we wont tell you what happened to the broken ride, nor will we tell you how long the ride will be down for. We are not the mechanics, we are simply cannon fodder to deal with #31 and #30. If it were up to us we'd put a sign up and take a nice break in the back until it was fixed!

33. Don't hover over monitors and controls the cast members are using, if we wanted you to see them, we'd put a montior above the queue. And you wont understand the controls anyway.

34. DO NOT PUSH ANY BUTTONS AT AN ATTRACTION! Just cause it's blinking, looks pretty, or curiosity gets the best of you! You may KILL someone by starting up a ride. And don't act offended when you are screamed at for touching something you do not know anything about!