What we have here...

[PirateJohn]

...is a failure to communicate.

On Mark Twain today during a trip...


Guest: Does this boat take me to the island over there?
Me: Ah, no. Sorry. The rafts take you there. We passed by them earlier. The people in red shirts and straw hats drive them --
Guest: So how do I get there?
Me: Yes. When you exit this boat, take a right around the river until you see the guys in the red shirts and straw hats.
Guest: But I want to get on the island.
Me: Right, I know. That's how.
Guest: So I just wait at the dock when I get off the boat.

*pause for stunned silence*

Me: Ah, no. When you get off the boat, take a right and head around the river.
Guest: So how do I find it?
Me: (getting increasingly frustrated) LIke I said, you'll see the rafts. The rafts take you to the island. Just find the guys in red shirts and straw hats. They will take you there.

Excuse me while I go hurl myself into the paddle wheel.

[BirdMom]

Me: Ah, no. When you get off the boat, take a right and head around the river.
Guest: So how do I find it?
Me: (getting increasingly frustrated) LIke I said, you'll see the rafts. The rafts take you to the island. Just find the guys in red shirts and straw hats. They will take you there.

Isn't it amazing how many guests you have to spell it out for? Did you have to resort to saying, "First you get off our boat and step onto our dock. Then you go through our exit and make a right. Then you head around the river until you're almost in front of the Haunted Mansion where you will see a sign that says Rafts to Tom Sawyer's Island with a bunch of people in red shirts and straw hats hanging around. One of the nice people in a red shirt and straw hat will let you step onto the raft, while another nice person will drive it across the river and *then* take you to the Island..."

So, um, were you seriously tempted to just toss him into the river?

[PirateJohn]

So, um, were you seriously tempted to just toss him into the river?

Her. And yes.

Seriously, it made me think of a scene from a recent Simpsons episode. If you saw this season's episode with Ray Romano, during the end credits, you can hear Homer and Ray going rapid-fire back and forth talking about when Ray's show is on TV.

Homer: So when is the show?
Ray: Nine o'clock Monday.
Homer: What channel?
Ray: CBS
Homer: I see. And when is it?
Ray: Nine o'clock Monday.
Homer: On the radio, right?
Ray: No, TV.
Homer: What channel?
Ray: CBS

And so on and so on ad nauseum. It was hilarious.

My scene, however, was not.

[leftcoaster]

Sorta like the Abbot and Costello skit:

Abbott: Well Costello, I'm going to New York with you. Ya know, Bucky Harris, the Yank's manager, gave me a job as coach for as long as you're on the team.
Costello: Look Abbott, if you're the coach, you must know all the players.
Abbott: I certainly do.
Costello: Well, you know, I never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team.
Abbott: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know strange as it may seem, they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names.
Costello: You mean funny names?
Abbott: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean...
Costello: His brother Daffy
Abbott: Daffy Dean...
Costello: And their French cousin.
Abbott: French?
Costello: Goofé
Abbott: Goofé Dean. Oh, I see. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, we have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third...
Costello: That's what I want to find out.
Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.
Costello: Are you the manager?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: You gonna be the coach too?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: And you know the fellows' names.
Abbott: Well I should.
Costello: Well then who's on first?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: I mean the fellow's name.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy on first.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The first baseman.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy playing...
Abbott: Who is on first!
Costello: I'm asking _you_ who's on first.
Abbott: That's the man's name.
Costello: That's who's name?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: That's who?
Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE
Costello: Look, you gotta first baseman?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: Who's playing first?
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?
Abbott: Every dollar of it.
Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy that gets...
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: Who gets the money...
Abbott: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
Costello: Who's wife?
Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE
Abbott: What's wrong with that?
Costello: I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name?
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: How does he sign...
Abbott: That's how he signs it.
Costello: Who?
Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE
Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guys name on first base.
Abbott: No. What is on second base.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first.
Costello: One base at a time!
Abbott: Well, don't change the players around.
Costello: I'm not changing nobody!
Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.
Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base?
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: Ok.
Abbott: Alright.
PAUSE
Costello: What's the guy's name on first base?
Abbott: No. What is on second.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott: He's on third, we're not talking about him.
Costello: Now how did I get on third base?
Abbott: Why you mentioned his name.
Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?
Abbott: No. Who's playing first.
Costello: What's on base?
Abbott: What's on second.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott: He's on third.
Costello: There I go, back on third again!
PAUSE
Costello: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it.
Abbott: Alright, what do you want to know?
Costello: Now who's playing third base?
Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?
Costello: What am I putting on third.
Abbott: No. What is on second.
Costello: You don't want who on second?
Abbott: Who is on first.
Costello: I don't know.
Together: Third base!
PAUSE
Costello: Look, you gotta outfield?
Abbott: Sure.
Costello: The left fielder's name?
Abbott: Why.
Costello: I just thought I'd ask you.
Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.
Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field.
Abbott: Who's playing first.
Costello: I'm not...stay out of the infield!!! I want to know what's the guy's name in left field?
Abbott: No, What is on second.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first!
Costello: I don't know.
Together: Third base!
PAUSE
Costello: The left fielder's name?
Abbott: Why.
Costello: Because!
Abbott: Oh, he's center field.
PAUSE
Costello: Look, look, look. You gotta pitcher on this team?
Abbott: Sure.
Costello: The pitcher's name?
Abbott: Tomorrow.
Costello: You don't want to tell me today?
Abbott: I'm telling you now.
Costello: Then go ahead.
Abbott: Tomorrow!
Costello: What time?
Abbott: What time what?
Costello: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching?
Abbott: Now listen. Who is not pitching.
Costello: I'll break your arm you say who's on first!!! I want to know what's the pitcher's name?
Abbott: What's on second.
Costello: I don't know.
Together: Third base!
PAUSE
Costello: Gotta catcher?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: The catcher's name?
Abbott: Today.
Costello: Today, and tomorrow's pitching.
Abbott: Now you've got it.
Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team.
PAUSE
Costello: You know I'm a catcher too.
Abbott: So they tell me.
Costello: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow's pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw the guy out at first. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who?
Abbott: Now that's the first thing you've said right.
Costello: I don't even know what I'm talking about!
Abbott: That's all you have to do.
Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base.
Abbott: Yes!
Costello: Now who's got it?
Abbott: Naturally.
PAUSE
Costello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. Now who has it?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Who?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Naturally?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.
Abbott: No you don't you throw the ball to Who.
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's different.
Costello: That's what I said.
Abbott: Your not saying it...
Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally.
Abbott: You throw it to Who.
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: That's what I said!
Abbott: You ask me.
Costello: I throw the ball to who?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Now you ask me.
Abbott: You throw the ball to Who?
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU!!! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third and I don't give a darn!
Abbott: What?
Costello: I said I don't give a darn!
Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop.

Seriously, it made me think of a scene from a recent Simpsons episode. If you saw this season's episode with Ray Romano, during the end credits, you can hear Homer and Ray going rapid-fire back and forth talking about when Ray's show is on TV.

Homer: So when is the show?
Ray: Nine o'clock Monday.
Homer: What channel?
Ray: CBS
Homer: I see. And when is it?
Ray: Nine o'clock Monday.
Homer: On the radio, right?
Ray: No, TV.
Homer: What channel?
Ray: CBS

And so on and so on ad nauseum. It was hilarious.

My scene, however, was not.

[TGSal]

Isn't it amazing how many guests you have to spell it out for? Did you have to resort to saying, "First you get off our boat and step onto our dock. Then you go through our exit and make a right. Then you head around the river until you're almost in front of the Haunted Mansion where you will see a sign that says Rafts to Tom Sawyer's Island with a bunch of people in red shirts and straw hats hanging around. One of the nice people in a red shirt and straw hat will let you step onto the raft, while another nice person will drive it across the river and *then* take you to the Island..."

So, um, were you seriously tempted to just toss him into the river?

I'm glad you didn't tell her to swim across - she probably would have!!!

[Matt5172]

If I were a CM in this case I would start giving alternative options such as: "Well if you don't want to make a right, you can head east of here toward tomorrowland, then when you get to a statue of a man and mouse make 3 90 degree turns to your right and go through the castle, once you get to a large spinning thing you can make the choice of traveling clockwise or counter-clockwise to the other side, that's completely up to you. Then travel North until you get to a train, take the train to your third stop and then get off the train, head toward the water and get on the raft."

[murf]

I just love the thick ones! these people just have no higher brain function that lets them process information! (sad reeeeaaaallllly sad)
No matter what you tell them or how you tell them they just dont get it! I had a group get on the M&F tram headed to the resort the other day and the conversation went a little like this...
G: Does this tram come back here? (M&F GreenRoom)
Me: yes it does.
G: So we can ride around to see everything then decide where we want to go?
Me: ??? this tram only makes one stop the theme parks face each other and we stop just in front of Downtown Disney.
G: Ok we will just ride and see.
Me: Ok ???
So the tram takes off etc.
Me: We are approaching our One and Only Stop for Disneyland, DCA, and Downtown Disney etc.. yes I did put extra emphasis on the ONE AND ONLY part!
we stop everyone but the "tour group" gets off I walk up to them and motion for them to exit the tram I tell them that this is it, just walk down that walkway towards that group of people Disneyland is on the left DCA is on the right and have a good day.
G: We want to stay on for the rest of the tour. (Your kidding right)
Me: This is the only stop we make we are going back to the structure to pick up more guests.
G: But my friend told me we could ride around and see everything
Me: I'm sorry this is the only stop we make maybe your friend was thinking of the monorail (I point to red that happened to be passing by at the time)
G: No he said the tram.
at this point a guest (not sure if she was an ap or what) came up and asked the guest to follow her and she would show them what they needed to get to the parks!
my savior yea I jumped on the tram and cleared out fast!

[1team1dream]

Yet another failure to communicate. I work in Disney Dining and part of my job when a guest is celebrating a birthday is to ask "would you like me to have your server to bring out the birthday child a complimentary birthday dessert?" I asked this guest that same question and her response was "Well how much does that cost?"...Here's your sign! my response to that was of course "it's free fifty free" she then responded with "oh well I don't want it then!" :p:

[SRT_GB]

Here's your sign! my response to that was of course "it's free fifty free" she then responded with "oh well I don't want it then!" :p:

I prefer "free ninety nine" or "free dollars plus tax." Gets them every time.