PotpourrPirate

[PirateJohn]

Me: "How many people in your group?"
They: "Yes."

Kid: "What part of the boat gets the wettest?"
Me: "Underneath."

They: "Do you get wet?"
Me: "Nope, I stay perfectly dry."

They: "We're going to need a whole boat."
Me: "How many is that?"
They: "Nine."
(Our boats hold twenty-two.)

Me: "How many in your group?"
They: "Thirty-four." (they really have about three)
Me: "Gee, I've never heard that one ABOUT FIFTEEN TIMES A *@&%^$ DAY!!!!!!!"

Then there was the one family that let their child pee off of our unload dock and into the water.