Stupid Guest Tricks

I previously mentioned that I was in To Kill A Mockingbird, but I neglected to mention that we had to say the N Word multiple times. Our director asked us how we felt about it and ultimately we decided it was important to plot. Though many of us felt that after months of using it we had been desensitized to it. It was very hard to get it out of our minds that it was no longer acceptable offstage. I was actually impressed by the level of maturity the cast of seniors and juniors had in handling such a sensitive subject.

I'm okay with doing things onstage that look very bad when the purpose is to shock the audience into receiving a good message. It must be done very tastefully, as in To Kill A Mockingbird. I've wanted to do plays like that as well.

It makes me cringe when people use the n-word indiscriminately. One of the worst offenders is my own brother. He is not a racially biased person, but he's a truck driver with the requisite filthy mouth and that is one of the words that flies out of it constantly. It's like touching a poker to my ear every time I hear it. He has always had a ton of black friends and I know he is not prejudiced, so I just don't see how he can't make the connection that it's a horrible thing to say.

In post #46 I said this: (I am condoning this, just relating what some folks felt when civil rights where passed.)
I meant to say I am NOT condoning this... Yikes, one little word misplaced changes the whole meaning of the statement. I think you all knew what I meant.

I like this discussion, because it allows for me and others to talk about why certain words can be offensive, but like CMGuy, they used the word over and over so much that it became like any other word. That is the danger of using it so much. We get used to it and it loses it's powerful meaning to US, but not to the person who could be offended by it.

Interesting sidenote: I dated several black men when I was in my 20's in the 1970's. There were a few of us young women that did not see color and we met people we liked and dated them. Within the friendship group of black men, they used that word to each other all the time very casually. I got so used to hearing it in that environment as well, I learned a NEW meaning for it. It is just something that young black men use for each other. It is still a heinous word and there are many older black people, like Bill Cosby and Oprah and others that want the young black men to stop using that word with each other.

Interesting thing about this story, is that one of my boyfriends used to call me that and I called him that. Not in a bad way. It was the same way that the young men used it. Different meaning, and by that time I had already grown out of my parents views and had my own. So the word had a different meaning for me then IN THAT PARTICULAR relationship. I had so many black friends at the time, that my parents would not allow me to bring any of them home.

Interesting, that my brother had a black friend on the track team in high school and he was allowed to bring him over. I guess it was not because he could possibly marry him some day! And my older brother dated a young black woman and my parents had the same reaction as they did with me. Possible marriage? Not acceptable to them. I was angry at my parents then, for their intolerance. It was not until I moved out on my own that I was able to bring my friends home to MY house.

My best friend back in the 1980's-90's was a Jewish woman from Queens. My parents had no problem with my having a best friend who was Jewish. I don't know how they based thier decision on who it was okay to call names and who it wasn't. Maybe because we fought FOR the Jews in WWII that had something to do with it. I know most of their feelings and opinions come from many years ago and I am talking 1930's-1950's. A LONG time ago.

This discussion in itself has opened my eyes to how I think in my inner conversation. It IS helping me to rethink what I say to myself. Now that I have put it out there and recognize it for what it is, I can stop it and replace those words with more appropriate reactions.

It has felt good to share this with someone. I know many of the people I know IRL would NOT understand. I think I may have a conversation with my folks when I see them at the end of march. I will be kind, but inquisitive about their beliefs and why they have them and use those words, especially my father. My mom is much more semsitive to people's needs and feelings. (There is that word, Wallaby,
S E N S I T I V E , the one you like so much!!!!!!! :p: heeheehee.)

Thanks for being a place whwere I could express myself openly and hope that I could find some peace with myself. It HAS helped to share it and is the starting point to erase those words altogether.

I saw a shirt here in Denver I want to get. It says *ERACISM* on it. I like that. It is a place to start.

Susi

DisneyMom wrote:Like Susi, I grew up with those horrible words and ideas in my household (mostly from my idiot step-father) and they sometimes pop up in my thoughts( I am immediately ashamed but they are just like a poison you can't get rid of). I used to get in fights with my family because of his ideals, and I did take it personally because of my biological father's heritage.
Now, even though I am very careful about what I say around the kids, they
still might pop up with something inappropriate now and then. The word "Gay" comes to mind. I try to nip it in the bud but unfortunately there are too many influences out there. I hope they will realize how wrong that kind of thinking is.

Yesterday there was a report on the news on an area in ?Kenya? where the more overweight/ voluptuous women were considered more beautiful than the thinner women, now that is an attitude I could handle! :p:

Interesting discussion here, and a few points from me...

The first thought down is that WWII was fought against the Nazis and the Japanese mostly for economic reasons (all wars are REALLY for economic reasons...THEY have it, WE want it...let's make up a reason to go TAKE it!). The Jews were benefitted by our presence in the war, but not even FDR said, "They're killing Jews, let's go get 'em".

On the other hand...my father would use the 'N' word at the drop of a hat but, like other posters here, they were directed at those he didn't care for (you should have heard him during the first Watts riots). The Sammy Davis Jr./ Bill Cosby types were all OK by him. I cringed a bit when he used the word around my oldest daughter when she was very young, but how do you go about correcting your FATHER, for heaven's sake?

My second thought is for dear Susi"why do those voices in my head say such horrible things"Slicker. You are to be commended for keeping those things in there instead of shouting them out (which might provide a little immedate relief before the embarrassment washes over you). The venom won't poison you and you've kept it from the rest of us (and we thank you). Don't even worry about the words popping in...as the previous generation learned racist opinions & beliefs, we learned the words. It's the enlightenment that knowledge and experience brings that keeps them inside and makes you the better person.

My last thought (in this posting) is that it is awful that young (and even older) Afro-Americans (yep...that's how OLD I am...too young to say 'colored', too old to know the current incarnation of socially acceptable) keep the 'N' word alive. It may be the worst thing they can think of to call a brother, but if there were true equality in society, those who trade in the word as part of their work (their Artistry...their View of the World) would be as reviled as Michael Richards was for his rant...or Duane Chapman...or Mel Gibson and his drunken spiel about Jews.

Hey, guys, a point of order here...if it's not OK for ME to say it, it's not OK for you, either...and it is definately NOT OK for me to say it, OK? Teach me a better word to use as part of your Artistry.